Hooves and Harlots


TEASER

Gabrielle comes over the hill with a walking stick.

GABRIELLE
What do you think of this one?

XENA
It's lovely. What's it for?

GABRIELLE
It's a walking stick. It's very useful. You can walk
with it, you can lean on it, if you need a rest and,
you can kill nasty little critters if you wanna lie
down. Yeah. It's got a good feel.

XENA
Let me look at this.

Xena uses it like a staff, and shows off.

XENA
Hmm! Not bad.

GABRIELLE
Or, you could do that. Yeah!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena and Gabrielle walk along.

GABRIELLE
What was that thing hanging back there from
the tree?

XENA
No trespassing signs. This is Amazon country.

GABRIELLE
Amazon? Do you think we'll see any?

Arrows are shot at them.

XENA
Almost certainly.

Xena puts down her sword and holds her hands clasped over her head.

XENA
Gabrielle.

Gabrielle holds her hands over her head too, and masked Amazons leap down from the trees.

TERREIS
You know the Amazon symbol of piece.

XENA
We'd like safe passage through your hunting
grounds.

Terreis pulls back her mask, as do the others.

TERREIS
My name is Terreis. You know the Amazon ways,
and yet, you're not one of us. And you're really not
one of us.

GABRIELLE
Hey, don't judge a scroll by its paper.

EPHINY
They invade our territory. We should take them
to see Queen Melosa.

TERREIS
Ephiny is right. We have to let Melosa decide.
Don't worry, she's fair.

GABRIELLE
Going to see the Amazon Queen. This is fantastic.
I'm so excited. I wonder what she's like?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gabrielle and Terreis walk together.

GABRIELLE
I want to read philosophy and learn about history
and science. But they didn't consider me a
normal girl.

TERREIS
Philosophy and history are among the first things
taught to Amazon children.

GABRIELLE
Really?

TERREIS
It is a man's world, Gabrielle. Not because it
should be, but, because we let them have it. It's
based on a woman's weakness.

GABRIELLE
Yeah?

TERREIS
The Amazon world is based on truth and a woman's
individual strength.

GABRIELLE
Well, I'm all for that. I've always considered myself
a single-minded person. Of course, if I got married
I'd have to ask my husband if that was okay. That
was a joke.

Terreis smiles. Ephiny looks back at Xena.

XENA
Something about me you find interesting?

EPHINY
Yes.

XENA
Wanna tell me?

EPHINY
No.

XENA
Then stop staring at me, before I take your eyes out.

There's a sound of a breaking twig.

XENA
Gabrielle?

GABRIELLE
What is it?

Arrows fly.

TERREIS
Amazons, retreat. To the trees.

Xena covers Gabrielle, and the Amazons take to the trees. Terreis is hit and falls to the ground.

GABRIELLE
Terreis!

Gabrielle throws her body over Terreis'. The arrows stop.

XENA
Don't try to move her. Gabrielle, I'll check to see
if it's clear.

Xena leaves.

EPHINY
Terreis!

TERREIS
(to Gabrielle) You tried to save me.

The Amazons join them.

GABRIELLE
Don't talk, just keep your strength.

TERREIS
What you did, only an Amazon would do for another
Amazon. I want you to take my Right of Caste.

EPHINY
Terreis!

TERREIS
Please!

GABRIELLE
Okay, I'll take it. Just don't--don't...

Terreis dies. Xena comes back.

END OF TEASER



ACT ONE

Amazon village. Amazons play drums and dance. Melosa enters, fighting an Amazon.

EXTRA
Hail, Melosa!

The Amazons give a warrior yell. Melosa wins.

EXTRA
Victory for Queen Melosa!

Terreis' body it brought in a stretcher. Melosa breaks the arrow that killed her and then sets it atop the body.

GABRIELLE
What are they doing?

XENA
They're going to send Terreis to Artemis, the
moon goddess.

Terreis is places on a funeral pyre. Melosa walks over to Xena and Gabrielle.

MELOSA
I'm Queen Melosa. I'm told you tried to save my
sister. For that, I thank you. You have safe passage
through my land, but you must go quickly. We
may be at war soon.

GABRIELLE
At war? With who? Who attacked us?

PHANTES
Get your hands off me!

EXTRA
Filthy animal!

PHANTES
Hands off, witch!

Phantes is dragged in by three Amazons.

XENA
Centaurs.

GABRIELLE
What? What's the matter?

XENA
Let's just say, they're no friends of mine.

Ephiny shows Melosa Phantes' arrows.

EPHINY
These were his. I brought him down as he was
escaping across the river.

PHANTES
You would never have caught me in the open field.

EPHINY
I did catch you. On our land.

MELOSA
You're Phantes, aren't you?

PHANTES
What? How did you-

MELOSA
I make it a point to know my enemies.

Melosa hits him.

MELOSA
You have until the end of our mourning period
to make your peace with the gods.

PHANTES
Make peace with your own gods. You think my
people will allow you to kill the son of Tyldus?

MELOSA
Take him away.

Phantes is taken away.

XENA
What problems do you have with Centaurs?

MELOSA
Disgusting animals. You know how they are?
Near the river, there's a village of centaurs and
men. They want our hunting areas. And now they've
gone too far. You should go.

Melosa leaves.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later.

GABRIELLE
Now, what did you mean by, "I'm not a friend of
the centaurs"?

XENA
A long time ago, my army fought the centaurs.

GABRIELLE
Yeah, well, I guess they wouldn't be your friends
if you defeated them in battle.

XENA
I fought them, I never defeated them. Stay here.

Xena leaves.

EPHINY
Gabrielle? You didn't tell your friend about the
Right of Caste, did you?

The funeral pyre is lit.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phantes is trying to get out of his bonds. Xena enters.

XENA
Did you kill Terreis?

PHANTES
Terreis? The Amazon had a name, did she?

XENA
Did you kill her?

PHANTES
Would you believe me if I said I didn't.

XENA
I find it hard to believe that the son of Tyldus is
a murderer.

PHANTES
Maybe it wasn't murder. Maybe it was the opening
of a war that should have happened a long time ago.

XENA
Well, if it was, it was a pretty stupid way to begin
it. Only one death? And to get captured so easily.
Centaurs aren't known for their stupidity.

PHANTES
Amazons aren't known for asking questions.

XENA
I'm not an Amazon.

PHANTES
If it looks like a hydra, and moves like a hydra,
it's a hydra.

XENA
Did you kill her?

PHANTES
I'd kill 'em all if I could. And maybe I'll get my chance,
if my father can still muster the courage for battle.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Krykus and Melosa enter Melosa's tent. Terreis' sword is in a fire.

MELOSA
I appreciate your coming here for this discussion,
Krykus.

KRYKUS
I do it only in the interests of peace. You should
know I have men at the centaur village right now,
telling them the same thing I'm telling you.

MELOSA
And that would be?

KRYKUS
I have no interest in this little war of yours. If
it happens, don't expect me to act as an enemy,
or an ally.

MELOSA
That's all I care to know.

KRYKUS
Oh, and I would offer my condolences on the
murder of you sister, but-

MELOSA
But, I wouldn't believe it anyway.

Xena enters.

KRYKUS
Tor.

Krykus and Tor leave.

MELOSA
That was the warlord, Krykus. He hates us only
slightly less than the Centaurs.

XENA
Melosa, don't let this war happen. You can stop it
now before it gets out of hand.

MELOSA
I have no intention of going to war. That's up to
the centaurs. I intend to execute a murderer. If
they take it to the next step, we'll be prepared.

XENA
You're going to get your people killed. I fought
the centaurs. I know what they can do.

MELOSA
The famous battle of Corinth, yes, we've heard
of it. And we've heard of you, Xena. To some of
us, you're a hero. A true Amazon at the head of
the mightiest army the world has known.

XENA
And yet, the centaurs fought my army to a standstill.
Tyldus was their leader. Executing his son is
certain to bring about a war. I don't believe Phantes
killed your sister.

MELOSA
Is that so? What do you intend to do about it?

XENA
I'm going to talk to Tyldus.

Melosa takes Terreis' sword from out of the fire.

MELOSA
This was Terreis' sword. According to Amazon
custom, it will burn throughout the night during
our mourning period. It will be used to execute
her murderer. That execution takes place at
noon tomorrow.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Outside.

GABRIELLE
It sounds like the centaurs have been asking for it.

XENA
Only fools and profiteers ask for war, Gabrielle.
Centaurs are neither.

GABRIELLE
Yeah, but he killed Terreis.

XENA
Someone killed Terreis. I'm not sure it was
Phantes. I'm going to speak to his father. This
is probably the safest place for you to be.

Xena mounts Argo.

XENA
The Amazons will protect you because of Terreis.
Besides, I'm sure Tyldus still considers me
an enemy.

Xena rides off.

GABRIELLE
Good luck.

Ephiny and Melosa enter.

EPHINY
Gabrielle.

GABRIELLE
So are we going to talk about this Right of
Caste thing?

MELOSA
With her dying wish, Terreis bestowed all her
rights and possessions to you, and her position.

GABRIELLE
Wait. You mean, I'm an Amazon?

MELOSA
Terreis was my true sister, the next in the royal
line. You're an Amazon Princess. (to Ephiny) Make
sure she's taught.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena moves through the woods. She walks over to a burial ground. She picks up a headstone, and uses it to block an arrow. The centaur attacks and Xena defeats him. She turns to see several more, bows raised.

END OF ACT ONE



ACT TWO

TYLDUS
Hold your fire!

He enters.

TYLDUS
Corinth is a long time in the past, Xena. What
brings you to my present?

CELANO
Tyldus! Mesas can't breathe!

XENA
You know me, Tyldus. You know I can help him.

TYLDUS
Why would you want to help a centaur?

XENA
Because he's dead without it.

TYLDUS
If he dies, you die.

Xena puts The Pinch on Mesas' chest.

MESAS
I...I can't feel my chest.

XENA
That's the point. I've blocked off the nerves. I'll
take that.

Xena takes Celano's knife.

XENA
Very nice.

Xena cuts Mesas, and sticks her hand inside.

XENA
The rib's pressing against the lung. It didn't
penetrate, though.

Xena moves the rib.

XENA
Get me a needle and some leather twine. Now.

Celano leaves to do so.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gabrielle is dressed in Terreis' clothes.

GABRIELLE
This can't be mine.

MAGDELUS
Everything that was Terreis' is yours.

GABRIELLE
But, it makes me feel strange, wearing her
clothes and all.

MAGDELUS
It's an honour. To deny it would degrade her
memory.

GABRIELLE
What kind of a person was she?

MAGDELUS
Terreis was an Amazon in the purest sense.

EPONIN
She would have made a good leader one day.

MAGDELUS
And she didn't think that all men and centaurs
were evil. Just misguided.

GABRIELLE
"It's a man's world. Not because it should be, but
because we let them have it." Yeah, I guess that's true.

Ephiny enters.

EPHINY
Come. Now.

GABRIELLE
I'm sorry you must have me mistaken for
a pet.

EPHINY
Would you come with me?

GABRIELLE
That's better.

Ephiny leads Gabrielle over to the weapons.

EPHINY
From birth, every Amazon is taught to use weapons.
Pick your first weapon.

GABRIELLE
No, I don't like swords. Can't hit the side of a
Cyclops with a bow and arrow.

Gabrielle picks up a staff.

GABRIELLE
Ahh, what's this?

EPHINY
That's a fighting staff. Eponin.

Eponin demonstrates with the staff.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Centaur village.

EXTRA
Right here.

EXTRA
Bring it here.

EXTRA
All right.

TYLDUS (voice-over)
They have my only son.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Inside a tent.

TYLDUS
Am I supposed to just stand by and let him be
executed?

Xena enters behind him.

XENA
No. I'm asking you to give me time. He has until
noon tomorrow. Give me that.

TYLDUS
Why am I to trust you? At one time we would have
rejoiced in each other's blood.

XENA
Look inside yourself for that answer. Are you
still the same centaur I met at Corinth?

TYLDUS
You killed a half of my centaur army. My friends.
My son will not die for something he didn't do.
He's not a murderer. I desperately want to avoid
war, but I'm gonna get him back. And I swear, if
he dies, every Amazon will suffer at my hand.

XENA
I don't believe he killed that girl. But whoever did
wants this war. You're playing into his hands.

TYLDUS
Just before noon tomorrow, my army attacks. You
can go, Xena, but don't come back. You and I are
still enemies, and I'll kill you if I have to.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gabrielle practices with Eponin with the staff, but hits herself in the head.

GABRIELLE
Ah. Show me, show me that again.

Gabrielle hits herself again.

GABRIELLE
Ow! Never say die, just, just one more time, one
more time.

Ephiny enters with a horse.

EPHINY
Report?

EPONIN
She's not bad. A little rough.

GABRIELLE
I'm getting the idea, though. You know, it's pretty
fun when it's working, huh.

EPHINY
"Fun"? This fighting staff was my first weapon.
My mother passed it on to me. It saved my life
more than once. Centaurs have certain strengths
and weaknesses. They're fast and agile. We use
that to our advantage. As a centaur passes at
full gallop, the staff goes here-

She uses the horse as an example.

EPHINY
-to crack the knee at the joint. This splits the leg
forward and drops him to the ground. As the
centaur falls, a strike to the lower shoulder
dislocates the two front legs. Once the centaur
is on the ground, an overhead strike-

She crushes a watermelon on a table.

EPHINY
-breaks the neck. Death is immediate, if they're
lucky. Still fun?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phantes takes off his ropes, to find a sword at his neck.

EPHINY
Planning on taking a trip?

PHANTES
How did you get in here without me hearing you?
I wouldn't have left, you know? Not until I'd killed
everyone in this village.

EPHINY
You talk big, even for a centaur.

PHANTES
What would you know about centaurs? You despise
us. You spit on us.

EPHINY
I had a friend who admired the centaurs. She
didn't see you for the beasts you really are. She
felt that one day, we would work together. She
thought you were brave and noble people.

PHANTES
Well, if your friend likes centaurs so much, where
is she now?

EPHINY
You killed her.

Ephiny starts to leave.

PHANTES
I didn't.

EPHINY
She also told me that centaurs have a high sense
of honour. Is that true? Could you swear on your
father's name?

PHANTES
I swear on the name of Tyldus the Great, I didn't
kill your friend. Not that the oath of a centaur
means anything.

EPHINY
Not too many.

Ephiny leaves.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena moves through the woods. She suddenly moves into the trees. Ephiny jumps down. Ephiny draws her sword and attacks Xena. Xena makes short work of her. Ephiny draws her crossbow.

XENA
Don't be stupid, Ephiny.

Ephiny fires, but Xena ducks. Xena hits Ephiny, and she falls to the ground. A centaur stands over her, ready to bring his sword down.

END OF ACT TWO



ACT THREE

Xena jumps on the centaur, and fights him. Ephiny shoots an arrow at the centaur, but Xena catches it.

XENA
Let's go! Come on! The trees. Come on!

Xena and Ephiny flee into the trees. The centaur leaves.

EPHINY
You sure you're not an Amazon? Very few people
know that escape.

XENA
Why are you following me?

EPHINY
I'm not. We were attacked here. I just came to
take another look at it. You saved me, and you
saved him. Why?

XENA
Because the moment an Amazon or a centaur
kills the other, the war can't be stopped. That
hasn't happened yet.

EPHINY
But, Terreis was killed.

XENA
By Krykus, the warlord. He gains everything from
this war. Follow me.

They move to look at the ground.

XENA
This is where the attacker was hidden. There
are hoof prints everywhere. Here's your proof
it wasn't a centaur. It was someone on horseback.

EPHINY
That's right.

Ephiny picks up a piece of dung.

EPHINY
This is filled with raw hay stalks. Centaurs don't
eat hay.

XENA
Actually, I was referring to the hoof prints. Centaurs
carry their weight on their front hooves.

EPHINY
That's just as good.

Ephiny puts the dung in her bag.

EPHINY
But how did Krykus know that Phantes was
going to be across the river?

XENA
We're going to find out, and we'd better do it quick.
Phantes is set to die at noon.

They move out.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Amazons dance.

EPONIN
Time to dance, Princess.

She pulls Gabrielle up.

GABRIELLE
I'm really, really bad at this. No, no, no, no. I have
two left feet, facing backwards. No, they wouldn't
let me dance at the crop festival because I brought
a bad harvest. No, no!

Gabrielle is thrown in the circle. She starts to dance.

GABRIELLE
Yeah! Ho! Whoa!

Gabrielle starts to enjoy herself. The dancing stops as Melosa enters, but Gabrielle keeps dancing. When she sees the others bowing, she does the same.

MELOSA
Bring the princess!

Eponin pulls Gabrielle to her feet and leads her to Melosa.

MELOSA
Up here, Gabrielle. Before the sun is high overhead,
we will have welcomed a new member to the
Amazon nation: Gabrielle, as the Right of Caste
of Terreis. Now that the mourning period has
ended for our sister, the sword of Terreis
becomes hers.

Melosa gives Terreis' sword to Gabrielle.

MELOSA
Tomorrow, the murderer of our sister will meet
his justice. The sentence is death. Death by the
sword of the murdered.

GABRIELLE
What?

MELOSA
When Terreis gave you her Right of Caste, she
made you her avenger. You have to carry out the
sentence with her sword.

GABRIELLE
I can't kill someone.

MELOSA
You're an Amazon, Gabrielle. To refuse would
be treason, and your own death. The sentence
will be carried out at noon.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Krykus' tent.

KRYKUS
I take it Melosa has sent the Warrior Princess
to try and talk me into an alliance.

XENA
Maybe. Would an alliance interest you?

KRYKUS
Not really. If they wipe themselves out, I could
care less. A battle between the hooves and
the harlots, I wonder who'd win.

XENA
That's easy. Any warlord who'd use this opportunity
to take more territory.

Krykus laughs.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ephiny sneaks around outside. She takes out two guards, and moves into the weapon tent. She opens a box to find arrows.

EPHINY
Centaur arrows.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Krykus' tent.

XENA
This map hardly has a mention of the centaur
territory, or the Amazon's. Did you have it drawn
up before or after the murder?

KRYKUS
It's a contingency map. I like to be prepared for
any eventuality.

XENA
Well, this eventuality has you as absolute ruler
of the land.

Krykus stabs the table with the same kind of dagger Celano has.

KRYKUS
Don't play games with me. You think I murdered
that harlot, don't you?

XENA
Well, I don't think you murdered her. I think
you arranged it.

KRYKUS
If my men tried to cross those hills, they'd be
killed by both sides. How could I have arranged
anything?

Xena takes the dagger.

XENA
Nice dagger. Do you give them out as gifts?

A man comes flying into the room.

KRYKUS
Guards!

Xena takes down the pole that's holding up the tent and exits, meeting Ephiny outside.

XENA
What did you find?

EPHINY
Centaur arrows, like the ones that killed Terreis.

Xena and Ephiny are attacked, but they defeat the warriors.

TOR
This way!

XENA
Come on.

Xena and Ephiny leave.

TOR
I'll get some men to go after them.

KRYKUS
No let them go. There's no way this war can be
stopped now. Tell the men to rest. We take to
the field tomorrow. After they've battled each other.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Noon. Phantes is brought before Gabrielle and Melosa.

MELOSA
By Amazon law, you must pay for your crime.

PHANTES
Amazon law means nothing to me.

MELOSA
Our law also allows you to speak before the
sentence is carried out.

PHANTES
I have nothing to say.

MELOSA
Very well.

PHANTES
I'm sorry your sister died.

MELOSA
Quickly, in the heart. Don't let him suffer.

GABRIELLE
I can't.

MELOSA
This is justice. It must be done.

EXTRA
Kill the beast!

EXTRA
Death to the centaurs!

EXTRA
It's justice!

EXTRA
Justice!

Gabrielle holds the blade to Phantes.

PHANTES
I don't want to die, please.

Gabrielle gets ready. Xena and Ephiny enter.

XENA
Phantes is not the murderer.

EXTRA
What?

GABRIELLE
Thank the gods.

XENA
We have proof.

She looks at Gabrielle.

XENA
What's this?

GABRIELLE
I'm an Amazon Princess?

XENA
Great.

Xena hands the bag to Gabrielle.

XENA
The proof's in the pouch.

Gabrielle picks up the dung, not knowing what it is.

XENA
We found this where we were attacked. It has
hay sprouts in it. Centaurs don't eat hay.

GABRIELLE
Don't eat...ohh!

Gabrielle throws down the dung and wipes her hand on her skirt.

GABRIELLE
Thank you! Thank you very much!

MELOSA
Proves nothing. The execution will proceed. Eponin.

Eponin holds a sword to Phantes' throat.

XENA
Queen Melosa, I demand the challenge.

EXTRA
She'd challenge our queen?

XENA
The royal challenge must be honoured.

MELOSA
Only when it is made by someone of royal
Amazon blood.

Xena raises her eyebrow at Gabrielle. Gabrielle gives Xena a funny look. Xena jerks her head. Gabrielle picks up what Xena is trying to say.

GABRIELLE
I demand the challenge.

MELOSA
You?

GABRIELLE
I'm an Amazon Princess, you can't deny me.

MELOSA
Gabrielle, do you wanna fight me to the death?

GABRIELLE
Not really.

EPHINY
You made the challenge, Gabrielle. You have to
follow through. Choose your weapon, or, choose
your champion.

GABRIELLE
Choose my champion?

Gabrielle is confused. Xena slowly raises her head. Gabrielle picks up what is going on again.

GABRIELLE
I pick Xena.

MELOSA
If you lose, you all die. You too, Ephiny.
(aside to an Amazon) It shouldn't be a problem.

GABRIELLE
(to Xena) We gotta come up with some hand
signals or something.

Eponin takes her sword away from Phantes.

EPHINY
Melosa fights low. She goes for the knees. She's
got a blind side that's on her right. But she's quick.

GABRIELLE
Don't you think she knows what she's doing?
You haven't seen her fight. Now, I have seen her
fight, a lot.

EPHINY
She's annoying. How have you put up with her?

GABRIELLE
Hey, she puts up with me fine.

XENA
If I lose, make sure Gabrielle gets out of here.

Xena walks over to Melosa.

MELOSA
Choose your weapon, Xena.

XENA
Chobos.

The weapons are brought out. Xena hands Gabrielle her sword and chakram.

GABRIELLE
Okay, now you won't lose. Remember that her
blind side is on the right.

Xena pushes her aside.

GABRIELLE
Ah! Never mind.

Xena and Melosa fight, Amazons cheering throughout the battle.

GABRIELLE
Hit her! Get her! Yeah!

EXTRA
Go Melosa!

EXTRA
Come on!

GABRIELLE
Yeah!

EXTRA
Get her!

EXTRA
Get her!

EXTRA
Come on!

EXTRA
Get her!

EXTRA
Xena!

EXTRA
Whoo-hoo!

Xena gets Melosa on her back, and holds the chobos at her neck.

XENA
Don't fight me to the death, Melosa. I need your help.

Melosa put down her weapons. Xena gets off of Melosa and helps her up.

EPHINY
There will be no execution, by order of our new queen.

The Amazons bow to Xena. The centaurs enter. Both sides stand with weapons ready.

END OF ACT THREE



ACT FOUR

TYLDUS
We'll talk with your queen!

Xena takes her sword from Gabrielle and walks up to him.

TYLDUS
I should have known you would end up leading
them. We finally get the chance to settle an old score.

XENA
You wanna settle it, Tyldus? Very well.

Xena tosses down her sword.

XENA
You've won.

The Amazons do the same, and Ephiny releases Phantes.

XENA
You won a long time ago, Tyldus. You said that
I taught you the meaning of war. You taught me
that greatness doesn't depend on fighting. It's
the battles you choose and the people you protect.
You've got no enemies here, Tyldus.

Phantes joins his father.

TYLDUS
Son!

PHANTES
Xena saved my life, father. I think I realize what
you've been trying to tell me about war. I've also
realized something about these Amazons. They
aren't our enemies.

XENA
No, but Krykus is. He started all this. Isn't that
right, Celano?

CELANO
What are you talking about?

XENA
You knew Phantes was going into Amazon territory.
You knew you could frame him.

CELANO
Any of us could have known that.

XENA
And then there's this.

Xena holds up the dagger. Celano looks as his belt.

XENA
No, it's not yours. I took it from Krykus. He gave
you yours, didn't he?

Celano rides off.

TYLDUS
Arben.

Arben the centaur gets ready to give chase.

XENA
Let him go. He's running back to Krykus, the
true enemy.

MELOSA
Krykus must be brought to justice. I demand
it, in the name of my sister.

TYLDUS
Our forces together can take them by surprise.

PHANTES
(to Ephiny) Amazon, wanna go for a ride?

Ephiny nods.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Krykus and Tor look over a map.

KRYKUS
Tor. Have the men clean their weapons and
assemble-

Celano rides in.

CELANO
Krykus! They're coming!

KRYKUS
Who's that?

CELANO
Get your weapons!

TOR
Looks like Celano.

CELANO
Get your men ready! They're on their way! Hooves
and harlots are together! They're on the move!
They want your blood!

KRYKUS
What's he talking about?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Amazons and Centaurs ride in. The centaurs pull the Amazon chariots.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Krykus' men attack. Celano runs off, and Xena goes after him. Everyone fights. Gabrielle kicks butt with her staff. A soldier grabs Ephiny from behind.

EXTRA
Die, Amazon! I'll break your heart and neck!

Gabrielle hits him. Melosa moves on Krykus. Krykus is closing in on an Amazon.

KRYKUS
You've got nowhere to go now.

Melosa fights him.

MELOSA
You killed my sister.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena fights Celano and kills him.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Melosa defeats Krykus, and holds her chobos at his neck, strangling him. Xena enters.

XENA
Melosa.

MELOSA
No. You have to stand trial, for your crimes against
the Amazons and the centaurs.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later. The Amazons, and centaur hang out.

EXTRA
My brother. He denied it.

EXTRA
Look over here.

MELOSA
It's not gonna be an easy peace, but it's a good start.

XENA
Making war is simple, making peace is never
easy. If it was, everyone would do it.

Xena and Tyldus shake hands.

TYLDUS
Old enemies, new friends. You gave me back
my son. I'll never forget that.

GABRIELLE
-made it to the Mystic fortress. I, of course, was
holding them off to give her the time that she
needed. (to Xena) I was just telling them the
Morpheus story.

PHANTES
And the Tracus story, the titans, Pandora. She
knows them by heart, and she loves to tell 'em.

EPHINY
Now, I see why you ride the horse.

GABRIELLE
Now, what's that supposed to mean?

EPHINY
Eponin?

Eponin hands Ephiny her staff. Ephiny holds it out to Gabrielle.

EPHINY
This is yours.

GABRIELLE
I can't take this. Your mother gave it to you.

EPHINY
An Amazon Princess doesn't refuse a gift from
another Amazon. Please, I want you to carry it.

Gabrielle takes it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena, Gabrielle and Argo walk along.

GABRIELLE
Are you mad at me because I didn't tell you about
the Right of Caste?

XENA
No, not mad.

GABRIELLE
Huh. I just thought it would be great to be an
Amazon. I didn't realize what it meant. But, I've
learned my lesson. Everything I know, you
know. From now on, no more secrets.

XENA
We'll see how long that lasts.

GABRIELLE
Huh. You know, I just thought of something. You're
a Warrior Princess, and I'm an Amazon Princess.
That's gonna make such a great story.

Xena moves a different way from Gabrielle.

GABRIELLE
Yeah, and it all starts with you and me finding
those signs in the trees. And then...Xena!

Gabrielle runs to join her.

GABRIELLE
Hey, wait. And then the arrows came flying down.

END OF ACT FOUR

STARRING
Lucy Lawless as Xena
Renee O'Connor as Gabrielle

GUEST CAST
Danielle Cormack as Ephiny
Alison Bruce as Melosa
David Aston as Tyldus
Mark Ferguson as Krykus
Rebekah Mercer as Terreis
Colin Moy as Phantes
Chris Bailey as Celano
Antony Starr as Mesas
John Watson as Arben
Aurora Philips as Magdelus
Tanya Dignan as Eponin
Andrew Kovacevich as Tor

Written by: Steven L. Sears
Directed by: Jace Alexander

Disclaimer: No Males, Centaurs or Amazons were harmed during the production of this motion picture.