Girls Just Wanna Have Fun


TEASER

Joxer runs from a pack of wolves.

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Xena and Gabrielle speak with a man outside of a forest.

EXTRA
...loss of so many. Three more girls have disappeared
from a village just south of here.

Something watches them from the woods.

EXTRA
All right, have a safe journey. Be very careful.

Xena and Gabrielle move into the woods.

GABRIELLE
What did he say?

XENA
Three more girls kidnapped from a neighbouring
village. That brings the total to six.

GABRIELLE
Who would do this?

XENA
Shh. Listen.

GABRIELLE
I don't hear anything.

XENA
That's your answer. This is the Bacchae forest.

GABRIELLE
The hunting grounds for Bacchus, the God of Wine
and his Bacchae followers. So we should hear
Orpheus. His music is said to tame the Bacchae.

XENA
And without it, these woods aren't safe.

GABRIELLE
So you think the Bacchae took those girls?

XENA
There's one way to find out.

Something watches Xena and Gabrielle as they move along.

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Joxer runs, still chased by the wolves.

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Elsewhere.

GABRIELLE
Do you think that the stories that people tell
about the Bacchae are--are true?

XENA
Some are, some aren't. What have you heard?

GABRIELLE
Well, they say that a single bite from a Bacchae
can turn a young, innocent woman into a wild,
soulless creature, whose only allegiance is
to Bacchus.

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Joxer runs, still chased by the wolves.

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Elsewhere.

GABRIELLE
And, once bitten, she's lured into his lair to drink
his blood. If she does, there's no way to save her.
She becomes a Bacchae forever.

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Joxer runs, still chased by the wolves.

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Elsewhere.

GABRIELLE
They say that the Bacchae women can take many
forms sometimes, just roaming the forest as
wolves. Driven with an unquenchable thirst for
blood, they track their intended victim relentlessly-

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Woods.

GABRIELLE (voice-over)
-until they corner him. Then they tear him apart,
limb from limb.

Joxer runs, still chased by the wolves.

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Elsewhere.

GABRIELLE
But, if you ask me, I think the stories are exaggerated-

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Wolves leap.

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Woods.

GABRIELLE
-you know? Just made up to give people a really
good scare.

Joxer runs in screaming. Gabrielle screams and Joxer knocks her over. He runs past her, the wolves at his heels. Xena grabs her whip from Argo.

XENA
(to Argo) Get out! Get out of here!

JOXER
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

Joxer climbs a small hill.

XENA
Stay behind me!

GABRIELLE
You don't have to tell me twice.

Gabrielle gets behind Xena. Xena holds wolves off with her whip.

JOXER
You dumb mutt! You! And, you! Got'cha! Get outta
here! Mister Mean Dog! Mister Nip Me in the-

A wolf gets a hold of Joxer's leg. He screams.

JOXER
Xena! Help! Get off of me! Ooh! Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow!

The wolves leave.

JOXER
Yeah! Get out of here! And--and don't come back, either!

He laughs.

GABRIELLE
Joxer!

JOXER
Huh?

GABRIELLE
Are you all right?

JOXER
Me? Ha-ha-ha-ha-yeah. Never better!

He joins them.

JOXER
You see, the secret to defeating a wolf pack is to
wear 'em down. I had those mongrels right where
I wanted 'em.

XENA
Uh-huh? So, what brings you to these parts?

JOXER
Mission...to save the world. Package, from Orpheus
to Xena.

He hands it to her.

XENA
Orpheus?

GABRIELLE
What is it?

JOXER
Speaks for itself.

Xena pulls Orpheus' head out of the bag by his hair and Orpheus screams.

END OF TEASER



ACT ONE

Joxer holds Orpheus by his hair.

ORPHEUS
Ou-u-uchh! Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ouch!

Joxer takes Orpheus.

JOXER
Never pick him up by his hair. And he parts it
in the middle.

XENA
Orpheus, Bacchus did this to you.

ORPHEUS
I thought you'd recognize his handywork. Since
we last met, I've dedicated my life to stopping
Bacchus. For a long time, my music worked. But
now, he's cursed me. He took my body, but left
me eyes and ears to see and hear all the evil he
brings to the world. For as long as Bacchus lives
on Earth, I will live in agony.

GABRIELLE
So it was Bacchus who took those girls.

ORPHEUS
Yes. Tomorrow night, he'll make them full-fledged bacchae.

XENA
And you want my help.

ORPHEUS
I've hated you for a long time, Xena. And you're
the last person I'd ask for a favour. But you're
the only person who knows Bacchus well enough
to do the job.

XENA
Do you still have your lyre?

ORPHEUS
I've kept it hidden in town with my friend, Mellotus.
He can play it while I sing.

XENA
Knowing Bacchus, it won't be safe for long. Come on.

ORPHEUS
Not so fast, Xena. I want to remind you that
innocent lives are at stake. Maybe this time you'll
be more careful.

XENA
(to Joxer) Find a way to make him presentable
and then we'll leave.

Xena and Gabrielle move off.

JOXER
Wait a minute. What did she mean, make you
presentable?

ORPHEUS
She doesn't want me to look like you.

GABRIELLE
(to Xena) What was that all about?

XENA
My army fought Bacchus a long time ago. And
on the final day of the battle, an innocent woman
got caught between my army and Bacchus' forces.
The fighting was fierce. There was no way we
could protect her, and she was killed. I'm sure
it was Bacchus who killed her. But Orpheus
always blamed us both.

GABRIELLE
Who was she?

XENA
Orpheus' wife.

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The wolves enter a cave and turn into Bacchae.

BACCHUS
Did you bring me the head of Orpheus?

BACCHAE #1
No, master. He got away.

BACCHUS
You fools! How could you let this happen?!

BACCHAE #1
He and his idiot companion were rescued...by Xena.

BACCHUS
Xena. It's been too long. She must've taken
Orpheus back for the lyre. Call the others. I have
a little job for you.

He laughs.

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Outside a village. People can be seen heading towards it, the music playing.

GABRIELLE
A festival. Looks like fun.

JOXER
Yeah, every year the villagers have a festival to
scare away the Bacchae. They have a prize for
best costume, too. Guess we know who's winning
this year.

Xena leads in Argo. Orpheus rides her, his head on a scarecrow's body.

ORPHEUS
Ha-ha! Very funny.

They move to the village.

ORPHEUS (voice-over)
Mellotus?

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Mellotus' home.

ORPHEUS
He must be in the back room.

They enter the back room to find Mallotus hung.

ORPHEUS
Mellotus, no!

XENA
The Bacchae did this.

ORPHEUS
And they've taken the lyre.

GABRIELLE
Xena, I'm going with you.

XENA
No, Gabrielle, I need you to stay here and protect
Orpheus. Without him, we don't stand a chance.

Xena leaves.

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Later.

JOXER
Wow! Do you really play all these instruments?

ORPHEUS
Leave the instruments alone!

JOXER
You know, your G is way out. Didn't anyone ever
tell you playing music's for sissies? You know,
my mother wanted me to be a musician. Can
you imagine that? Me, a musician? Now sword
fighting, there's a real man's hobby.

Gabrielle moves outside to look at the dancers.

ORPHEUS
You can be a warrior and a musician. I was.

JOXER
Yeah, right. And a hydra makes a good house pet.

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Gabrielle sees a small line of women move by. Gabrielle and Joxer can be heard outside.

GABRIELLE
I'll be right back.

JOXER
Gabrielle?

GABRIELLE
Stay here.

Gabrielle steps into the street. A song begins.

SINGER (voice-over)
The moon is up and there's a chill tonight.
Come on and dance away the growing fright.
Wave your hands in the air like you just don't care.
Want to get with the rhythm 'til the morning light.
Used to think that I liked being all alone,
But now I'm feeling kind of warm like it's nice to be.
And should have known better than to want to be 'lone,
But the beat is so strong I got ta-take it on.
Ah come on, ah, come on, ah, do it with me now.
Ah come on, ah, come on, do it with me now.
Ah come on, ah, come on, do it with me.
If you want my love, ya gotta drink da blood.
I want ta dance with you; I want you right next to me.

Gabrielle sees two Bacchae (though she doesn't know it) and she starts to dance with them.

SINGER (voice-over)
I want your soul and I'll give you what you need to be.
Feel the music; sniff your hair.
I'll keep you warm against the cold night air.
Just one kiss is what you need right now.
Just one kiss and I will show you how.
Just one kiss is what you need tonight.
To go dancing with the devil by the pale moonlight.
Ah come on, ah, come on, ah, do it with me now.
Ah come on, ah, come on, do it with me now.
Ah come on, ah, come on, do it with me.
If you want my love, ya gotta drink da blood.
Ah come on, ah, come on, ah, do it with me now.
Ah come on, ah, come on, do it with me now.
Ah come on, ah, come on, do it with me.
If you want my love, ya gotta drink da blood.

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Elsewhere.

BACCHAE #1
Ah, the precious golden lyre. Isn't it beautiful?

THIEF #1
Need some help, ladies?

THIEF #2
Yeah, that hunk of gold is too heavy for pretty things
like you.

BACCHAE #1
You're cute. Come closer and I'll let you have it.

THIEF #1
That's not all you'll let me have. Come on, beautiful.

The Bacchae transform and attack the men. They kill one when Xena enters.

XENA
Hey, girls, sorry to break up the party.

Xena and the Bacchae fight. During the fight, one gets a bite out of Xena, but is quickly thrown off. The Bacchae take the lyre and flee.

XENA
Where is that lyre?

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Gabrielle dances with the Bacchae (still unaware).

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Elsewhere in the square.

JOXER
See anything?

Orpheus is perched on a tall staff.

ORPHEUS
I don't see anything. Wait! There she is, in the
middle of the room with two women.

JOXER
Bacchae, just like I thought. (to a villager) Hold that.

He hands the villager the staff with Orpheus' head.

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Gabrielle dances when Joxer enters.

JOXER
Don't worry Gabrielle, I'll save you. Unhand her!

Joxer pulls Gabrielle away.

GABRIELLE
Joxer! What are you doing?!

JOXER
Bacchae!

GABRIELLE
But, I would know a Bacchae if I saw one.

JOXER
Come on, Orpheus is waiting.

The Bacchae dance alone.

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The villager dances with Orpheus on the pole.

ORPHEUS
Whoa! Hey! Whoa! Hey! Whoa!

Xena grabs the staff.

ORPHEUS
Did you get the lyre?

XENA
No, I found the Bacchae who took it. Someone
else got in the way. We'll get it back.

Joxer and Gabrielle enter.

JOXER
We'll get it back? Wait a minute; let me get this
straight. First, we find the lyre. Then we get someone
to play it. Ah, Orpheus sings, the Bacchae sleep.
Ah, we go in, kill Bacchus and free the girls?

XENA
Exactly.

JOXER
That was easy enough.

ORPHEUS
Don't be a fool. Bacchus has the lyre safely in
his catacombs by now. If you go in there, he'll kill you.

XENA
It's a chance I'll have to take.

JOXER
Yeah, it's my strategy from the get-go. Catch 'em
off guard. Run that "He'll kill you" part by me again.

XENA
It's all right, Joxer, you won't be coming. Come
on, Gabrielle.

JOXER
Wait a minute! If she's going, I'm going, too! Hey,
I assembled this team! Okay, fine. I guess you
don't want someone who plays the lyre!

ORPHEUS
You?!

JOXER
I took the music lessons, okay?

GABRIELLE
You play the lyre.

JOXER
Yeah, I play the lyre. Don't advertise it all over
town. I got a reputation to maintain.

XENA
All right. Let's go.

Xena turns her head, and Joxer sees the Bacchae bite on Xena's neck. Gabrielle takes the staff.

GABRIELLE
I got you, Orpheus.

JOXER
Wait a minute!

GABRIELLE
Whoa!

JOXER
Look! On her neck. Blood. She's been bitten.

END OF ACT ONE



ACT TWO

GABRIELLE
So, she had blood on her neck. I mean, she was
in a fight. It could be anything. It could be a scratch.
You know?

JOXER
Listen, listen, I have seen every kind of wound
encountered by man or beast. And that, my friend,
is a bite, specifically, a Bacchae bite.

GABRIELLE
Then, why hasn't she turned into one?

JOXER
Because these things take time! Listen, listen,
any second now, Xena's gonna be sporting a
new set of fangs, big ones. Wait a minute.
Now I know why she didn't want me with her.
Because she knows I'm the only one who could
stop her.

GABRIELLE
You know, we could settle this right now. I'll just
ask her.

JOXER
No, don't ask her a question! Are you kidding
me? Anything you say is gonna propel her into
a bacchian frenzy! Listen, you better give me this.

He takes Gabrielle's staff and starts sharpening it.

JOXER
I'll sharpen it into a point.

GABRIELLE
Don't be ridiculous!

JOXER
Listen, we gotta act nonchalant! Give it to me!
Give me that!

XENA
Hurry up! What are you two doing back there?

GABRIELLE
Nothing!

JOXER
Just sharpening our weapon. Okay, fine, but when
she bites your head off in the middle of the night,
don't come running to me.

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They travel.

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Camp. Xena works on her gauntlets while Gabrielle cuts up vegetables for the stew. Gabrielle cuts herself and drops the dagger.

GABRIELLE
Ow!

JOXER
I got it. You can't be too careful with these things,
you know. Somebody might get hacked to pieces.

XENA
I'll be back in a minute.

She stands and takes the knife.

XENA
Give me that.

She moves over to Orpheus.

XENA
You all right?

ORPHEUS
I'm a musician without my hands. How should
I feel? Look, just 'cause you've agreed to help us,
it doesn't make us friends. My wife died in your
war camp, and you did nothing to protect her.

XENA
There was nothing I could do. Most of my men
had already fallen. I tried my best to hold back
Bacchus in the hope that she would escape.

ORPHEUS
But you failed.

XENA
Eurydice shouldn't have been there in the first place.

ORPHEUS
I don't know why Eurydice thought she could
befriend a ruthless warrior like you. Her blood is
on your hands!

Xena throws the knife into a tree. Joxer and Gabrielle look from the tree to her. Xena moves away.

JOXER
(to Gabrielle) I'll tell you one thing, nobody sleeps
soundly tonight.

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Joxer snores, his dagger at his side. Xena sneaks up behind him with the knife. She brings it down and kills a spider. Joxer yells and wakes up.

XENA
Spider. Sand spider.

JOXER
Fine.

XENA
Everything all right?

JOXER
Yeah, yeah, I was just thinking about the best
way to kill Bacchae. Not that I haven't killed them
before, you know.

XENA
There's only one way to kill a Bacchae. We'll get
what we need on the way to the catacombs. For
now, try and get some sleep.

JOXER
Sure! No problem!

He laughs, then lies down and stops laughing, with a look of fear on his face.

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Bacchae lair.

BACCHUS
Under the light of the baccha moon, my initiates
will drink my blood and become one of us.

He cuts his hand and drops his blood into a cup.

BACCHUS
By this time tomorrow, we will have a new breed
of eternal Bacchae. And one of them will be Xena.

He laughs.

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Xena, Joxer, Gabrielle and Orpheus travel.

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The dryad graveyard.

JOXER
This is it? When you said "weapons," I was thinking
a blacksmith's shop.

XENA
No, for this job, we need something special. Keep
quiet, and don't step on any graves.

JOXER
Dryad, dry...what's a dryad?

XENA
Sworn enemies of Bacchus. A dryad bone through
the heart is the only way to kill a Bacchae.

GABRIELLE
Do we have to dig them up?

XENA
Not exactly.

JOXER
Well, they're not gonna jump out at us.

He laughs when something reaches out and grabs him.

JOXER
Whoa! Whoa!

He screams as something starts to pull him under the ground. Xena and Gabrielle run to him.

GABRIELLE
Joxer!

JOXER
Help, Xena! Help me! They're pulling me under! Help!

Joxer is pulled under. Gabrielle and Xena dig at the dirt. They pull him out.

JOXER
I can't breathe! I can't breathe!

He screams as he is pulled back under. Gabrielle grabs a hand, but pulls it out to find it the limb of a dead person. She throws it aside and helps Xena pull Joxer out who screams.

JOXER
Pull! Pull!

They pull him out.

JOXER
Horrible animals! Ooh, and monsters! Oh, that was
close. He took my boots! They cost me fifty dinars!

GABRIELLE
Great.

JOXER
Stupid, good-for-nothing, bag of bone!

The dryads explode from the graves. They are flying, bone creatures.

GABRIELLE
What is it?!

XENA
That's a dryad.

They fight the dryads.

GABRIELLE
Watch it, Joxer!

ORPHEUS
All right, Xena! Do something!

A dryad attacks Orpheus who yells. Xena cuts off the head of the dryad attacking her and Gabrielle and it explodes. Orpheus yells. Xena throws her chakram, which cuts off the dryad's head.

ORPHEUS
Thanks.

The last dryad flies away.

JOXER
Go on and run! You coward! Hah-hah! Wow!
These dryad bones are really sharp as nails.
No wonder they can kill a Bacchae.

He holds it on Xena.

JOXER
Hey, are you afraid of this?

XENA
Should I be?

JOXER
No.

Argo starts to eat the hay that makes Orpheus' body. He yells.

ORPHEUS
Argo!

JOXER
It's just that Gabrielle thought that you might be
a Bacchae. Okay, maybe I thought you were one,
too. But you had blood on your neck.

XENA
Sorry to disappoint.

JOXER
It's understandable. Nothing like stalking a Bacchae
to get the blood flowing.

Gabrielle turns. She is a Bacchae.

END OF ACT TWO



ACT THREE

XENA
Gabrielle.

JOXER
See? What did I tell you?

XENA
Gabrielle. It's all right. I can help you.

Gabrielle flies off.

JOXER
Where's she going?

XENA
The catacombs. Get Orpheus!

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In the catacombs. Orpheus mumbles from inside Joxer's bag.

JOXER
Shh! You hear that? Someone's trapped! And it
sounds like it's coming from right behind us.

ORPHEUS
Get me out of here! Ah! Not so rough, all right?!

Xena pulls him out.

XENA
Yes?

ORPHEUS
You're wasting time. We should be in Bacchus'
lair by now.

JOXER
We're looking for Gabrielle. She turned into a Bacchae.

ORPHEUS
There's no time for that. We have to kill Bacchus
before midnight. Forget the girl.

XENA
I can't do that.

ORPHEUS
I knew I should never have trusted you. Once
again, you're selfish desires come first. Don't
you understand? Bacchus is using Gabrielle
against us. If you try to save her, you'll fall right
into his trap.

XENA
Save your breath. I'm going after Gabrielle.

ORPHEUS
Then Bacchus has won already!

Xena moves off.

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They move along.

JOXER
Um, are you sure you know where we're going?

XENA
It's all right, Joxer, just follow me.

Xena moves ahead.

ORPHEUS
That's right, Joxer, follow Xena blindly to your death.

JOXER
Don't worry. We know where we're going. What
do you mean, "Death"?

ORPHEUS
It's only a matter of time before Gabrielle bites
Xena and makes her a Bacchae too. Xena's
friendship has blinded her to the mission. You
have to take control. The world is counting on
you, Joxer.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena moves into a cavern.

XENA
Joxer! Joxer!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the cavern entrance.

JOXER
Okay, okay.

He holds out a dryad bone.

JOXER
If Gabrielle comes around again, I'll know what to do.

ORPHEUS
Good.

He steps into the cavern.

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Joxer enters. Gabrielle is hanging on the wall, but she crawls up to the roof before she's noticed.

JOXER
Hm?

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Joxer joins Xena.

XENA
Keep your eyes open. She's here somewhere.

JOXER
Well don't worry. I'm ready for anything.

Gabrielle floats behind Joxer. A bat flies by and he screams.

JOXER
Bat.

Gabrielle jumps on Joxer who screams.

JOXER
Get off of me! Get off of me!

Xena pulls Gabrielle off.

JOXER
Oh, you little Bacchae!

Joxer moves towards Gabrielle, but Xena holds him back.

XENA
Joxer, don't!

Gabrielle flies up, out of sight.

XENA
Gabrielle.

Gabrielle flies down, but Xena knocks her off course. Gabrielle flies up and hides again.

XENA
Gabrielle!

JOXER
Duck!

Gabrielle flies at them and leaves.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gabrielle enters the room with all the Bacchae who are dancing.

BACCHUS
It is time.

He flies down to join the Bacchae. He fills up a cup with blood and hands it to a young woman.

BACCHUS
Drink, and become one with me...forever.

She drinks.

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Elsewhere.

XENA
Remember, your job is to find the lyre and play
it as soon as you can. That should give me time
to reach Bacchus.

JOXER
Right.

ORPHEUS
Xena! I...owe you an apology. I guess I was just
looking for someone to blame.

XENA
Bacchus must've caused you a lot of pain.

She draws her sword.

XENA
Now, maybe we can bring you some peace.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bacchus holds out the cup to Gabrielle.

BACCHUS
Now, friend of Xena. Go ahead, my child, drink
and become immortal. Become one with me.

Gabrielle holds the cup to her lips.

END OF ACT THREE



ACT FOUR

The chakram flies in and knocks the cup away from Gabrielle.

XENA
She's not interested, Bacchus.

BACCHUS
Xena! So glad you could join us after all.

XENA
Joxer, quick, on Bacchus' throne. Get the lyre. Hurry.

JOXER
You got it.

Joxer moves off.

BACCHUS
Get her!

Xena battles the Bacchae as Joxer moves to the wall to climb to Bacchus' throne. A Bacchae grabs him.

JOXER
Let go of me, you little monster!

Joxer gets her away and continues to climb. Xena battles the Bacchae. Joxer gets to the throne and pulls Orpheus out of the bag, setting him upon the throne.

JOXER
Orpheus, Orpheus! Wake up! Come on!

Xena blows fire at the Bacchae.

JOXER
The lyre, yes, the lyre! Orpheus, what should I play?!

ORPHEUS
Anything! Just play!

A Bacchae attacks Joxer. Bacchus holds out a cup to Gabrielle.

BACCHUS
Drink! I command you. Drink, and become one
of us.

JOXER
Get off of me!

Xena battles the Bacchae as Gabrielle takes the cup.

XENA
Gabrielle! No! Joxer! Play the lyre!

Joxer plays the lyre and Orpheus sings.

ORPHEUS
La-la-la-la. La-la-la-la. La-la-la-la. La-la-la-la.

The Bacchae all cringe. The one attacking Joxer stops and Gabrielle doesn't drink. Bacchus flies up and stands before Joxer.

JOXER
Any requests?

Bacchus knocks him out. Xena starts to climb up the rock side.

BACCHUS
Awake, my Bacchae! It is time to feed!

He laughs. Xena flips up.

BACCHUS
Welcome back, Xena.

Xena and Bacchus fight. She stabs him with a dryad bone and he falls to the ground, but he soon rises.

BACCHUS
No, Xena, don't you know? Only a Bacchae can
kill me. And you're not one, yet. (to Gabrielle) Bite her!

Gabrielle flies up and lands next to Xena.

BACCHUS
And now, make her one of us.

Xena holds a bone on Gabrielle, but puts it down.

XENA
Gabrielle, do it.

Bacchus laughs as Gabrielle bites Xena.

BACCHUS
Finally, Xena, you will be one of my children.

He laughs and Xena is turned into a Bacchae. She leaps from the throne with her battle cry and stabs Bacchus with a dryad bone. He dies and all the Bacchae are returned to normal.

EXTRA
What happened?

EXTRA
I feel so strange.

Joxer holds Orpheus' head.

JOXER
Well, that wasn't so bad.

A light fills the room and Orpheus gets his body back.

JOXER
Oh.

Joxer takes his hand away and returns Orpheus' lyre.

ORPHEUS
Thanks.

JOXER
You're a lot taller than I thought you'd be.

There is another light and Orpheus is gone.

JOXER
Orpheus? Hmm.

ORPHEUS (voice-over)
Goodbye, Xena...and thank you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the woods, music plays.

GABRIELLE
What is that?

XENA
That's Eurydice's favourite tune. Sounds like she
and Orpheus are back together again.

GABRIELLE
It's music to my ears.

Joxer joins them.

JOXER
Guys, wait up! Hey, so what's next?

GABRIELLE
Next, huh?

JOXER
Yeah.

GABRIELLE
Ah, we--we fight Medusa, right?

XENA
Right.

GABRIELLE
Well, you know, the--the one with snakes all
over her head.

XENA
Right.

GABRIELLE
And--and one look, and the mightiest of men
is turned into stone.

XENA
Right.

JOXER
Stone, huh? Oh, hey, listen, ah, um, I just remembered
it's my mom's birthday. And she's getting, you
know, the...I--I better get back home, but, um, I'll
catch up with you guys a little later.

GABRIELLE
No problem.

Joxer moves off.

GABRIELLE
You know, you almost died trying to save me. I
really want to do something to thank you.

Joxer draws his sword and yells to Xena and Gabrielle.

JOXER
Farewell, my warrior chums!

XENA
You just did.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Voice over of Bacchus laughing.

END OF ACT FOUR

STARRING
Lucy Lawless as Xena
Renee O'Connor as Gabrielle

GUEST CAST
Ted Raimi as Joxer
Matthew Chamberlain as Orpheus
Anthony Ray Parker as Bacchus
Kym Krystaly as Bacchae #1
Daniel Parker as Thief #1
David Goodwin as Thief #2
??????????????? as Singer

Written by: Adam Armus and Nora Kay Foster
Directed by: T.J. Scott

Disclaimer: No Bloodsucking Bacchae were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, a few Driads lost their heads