Ulysses


TEASER

The sea.

GABRIELLE (voice-over)
Isn't it beautiful?

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Xena and Gabrielle walk along.

XENA
Yeah, it's all right.

GABRIELLE
It's all right? You have to learn to smell the flowers.

XENA
What flowers?

GABRIELLE
That's an expression. You have to enjoy the peaceful
moments in life. You know, everything can't be an
adventure all the time. Like right now. I want you
to close your eyes, and just listen.

XENA
To what?

GABRIELLE
To nature speaking to us. It'll give you a wonderful
sense of peace. Close your eyes.

Xena does.

GABRIELLE
What do you hear?

XENA
Seagulls.

GABRIELLE
Okay, now, what do you, what do you feel when
you think of seagulls?

XENA
I feel irritated because they're so noisy.

GABRIELLE
What else do you hear?

XENA
Ahh, the sea.

GABRIELLE
Okay, now what do you, what do you think of when
you hear the peaceful grandeur of the sea?

XENA
I think how glad I am to be on dry land.

Xena keeps walking.

GABRIELLE
You're so practical! Because, Xena, the sea is
a beautiful expression of nature.

XENA
Mmm.

GABRIELLE
Now, I want you to concentrate on the sound of
the waves beating against the shore, and I want
you to have a sense of peace! All right?

XENA
Okay. I'll try.

Xena closes her eyes.

GABRIELLE
What do you feel?

Xena draws her sword.

GABRIELLE
The sea makes you draw your sword.

XENA
No, but the sound of a battle does!

Xena runs forward a little bit and then sees Ulysses fights a group of men.

GABRIELLE
Three against one.

Xena lies down.

GABRIELLE
Aren't we gonna help him?

Ulysses fights.

GABRIELLE
What are you doing?

XENA
Ah, following your advice.

GABRIELLE
What do you mean?

Xena picks up a buttercup.

XENA
Just smelling the flowers.

GABRIELLE
Smelling the flowers. That's good.

Ulysses keeps fighting. More men join the battle.

XENA
Okay, now we help him.

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Xena and Gabrielle run.

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Xena and Gabrielle join the fight.

EXTRA
Keep them down!

Xena moves to Ulysses.

XENA
Name's Xena.

ULYSSES
Ulysses. Thanks for the help.

XENA
Ahh, it's my pleasure.

ULYSSES
Grab on.

He swings her around and she gives her yell and laughs as she kicks all the men who circle up. The men run off.

GABRIELLE
Get on!

EXTRA
Come on.

GABRIELLE
Go on! Creep!

XENA
Those guys don't like you very much, Ulysses.

ULYSSES
They don't even know me. They owe their allegiance
to someone who doesn't want me to reach my kingdom.

XENA
And where is your kingdom?

ULYSSES
Ithaca.

GABRIELLE
You're that Ulysses? He's the king of Ithaca.

XENA
Oh.

GABRIELLE
I've--I've heard it's a very beautiful island.

ULYSSES
It is. But I'm afraid it won't be for very long.

GABRIELLE
Why?

ULYSSES
Those pirates we were fighting have been promised
it as their spoils if they should keep me from reaching
home. If they get control of Ithaca, they'll turn it
into a wasteland.

XENA
Well, I think we've just proved that they can be beaten.

ULYSSES
Yes, but their lord is much more formidable.

XENA
We've been up against some pretty formidable
guys ourselves.

GABRIELLE
Yeah.

ULYSSES
Not like this one.

Poseidon explodes out of the water.

END OF TEASER



ACT ONE

They all look up at Poseidon who roars.

POSEIDON
Xena, stay out of this. My nephew, Ares, has a
fondness for you. I won't be as patient with you
meddling in my affairs.

XENA
What have you got against Ulysses, Poseidon?

POSEIDON
He blinded my son, Polyphemus.

XENA
(to Ulysses) You blinded a Cyclops? I've done
the same, myself.

POSEIDON
What was that?!

XENA
Poseidon, if you've heard about my dealings with
Ares, you'll know that I'm not afraid of the gods.
This man is the rightful ruler of Ithaca, and I plan
to help him get home!

POSEIDON
Ulysses, don't let this woman die in a lost cause.
There's nothing left for you in Ithaca, now that
you're wife's dead. Give up hope of ever seeing
your homeland again and start a new life.

ULYSSES
Never Poseidon! Ithaca needs me. And I won't
leave it to the mercy of your pirates.

POSEIDON
Then, so be it. Ithaca is an island. The only way
to reach it is through my domain, the sea. You'll
both feel its deadly power. Have a nice voyage.

He salutes and returns to the water, laughing.

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The three move along the rocks on the shore.

ULYSSES
This cave has been my home since the pirates
captured my ship and killed the last of my crew.

XENA
How did you come to blind Polyphemus?

ULYSSES
On the way back from Troy, we stopped at
Polyphemus' island.

XENA
That doesn't sound wise.

ULYSSES
We needed food. We were hungry. Unfortunately,
so was that one-eyed monster.

XENA
Huh.

GABRIELLE
He tried to bite off more than he could chew, I
take it.

ULYSSES
Yep. I definitely wasn't on his diet.

XENA
First thing we need to do is get your ship back.

ULYSSES
They're keeping it in a harbor not far from here.
I'll get the rest of my things, and we can move on.

XENA
Ulysses, there's something you should know.
At Troy-

ULYSSES
You fought with the Trojans against us.

XENA
My only interest there was to stop the war and
help my friend, Helen.

ULYSSES
That war was madness. Ten senseless, bloody
years. It's behind me, now. The only enemies I
recognize today are those who stand between
me and Ithaca. I welcome your help.

Ulysses walks off.

GABRIELLE
What a man.

XENA
Well.

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Camp. Gabrielle sleeps and Xena sharpens her sword. Ulysses sneaks up behind Xena but she turns and holds her sword on him. He throws up his hands.

ULYSSES
Good move. If I was the enemy, though, your
friend would be dead.

XENA
Wrong. I heard you when you moved behind that
oak, there. If you'd have moved toward her, I would
have adjusted. How's it look with the ship?

ULYSSES
It's swarming with pirates. They're heavily armed,
have several lookouts, and the advantage of
position. It should be a cakewalk for us.

XENA
Wait until dawn?

ULYSSES
I was thinking the same thing, myself.

XENA
Poseidon mentioned your wife. I'm sorry, it's--it's...

ULYSSES Mmm, don't be. I haven't had the chance to talk
to anyone about it. She must have set out in search
for me. Poseidon trapped her in a storm and
destroyed her ship. Several fishermen told me
they saw the wreck, that there was no chance for
survivors. It's funny, the--the last time I saw her,
she was a child, only seventeen when we fell in
love and married. Then I went off to fight at Troy.
I think of her all the time.

XENA
You'll find love again, Ulysses.

ULYSSES
Maybe.

They turn and Xena and Ulysses hold out their swords. Gabrielle stands before them in surprise. She holds up a water skin.

GABRIELLE
I'm thirsty.

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The boat.

EXTRA (voice-over)
Get a man on the poop deck!

EXTRA (voice-over)
Tie up that sail!

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On the boat.

EXTRA
Check the rigging!

EXTRA
Yes sir.

GABRIELLE
Hey, boys!

Gabrielle is paddling towards the boat in a smaller one.

EXTRA
Ooh! Look at that!

Gabrielle stands up. She wears a revealing outfit and a black haired wig.

GABRIELLE
You know where I can find any real men?

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Gabrielle dances for the men.

EXTRA
I like that.

EXTRA
Turn around.

EXTRA
Over here!

EXTRA
Turn around!

Xena and Ulysses sneak upside the boat in a canoe.

GABRIELLE
Oh, oh, yeah!

Xena and Ulysses get aboard. Xena cuts the anchor.

EXTRA
Yeah, come here, baby.

Gabrielle flips him.

GABRIELLE
Oh, sorry! Oh!

EXTRA
So, you like it rough, do you?

GABRIELLE
Love it!

Gabrielle kicks him in the groin.

XENA
Hey, boys. I want in on the fun, too.

EXTRA
Xena!

EXTRA
Xena!

EXTRA
Get her!

Xena, Gabrielle and Ulysses fight the pirates, Gabrielle using a mop like a staff. They throw all the pirates off the ship.

EXTRA
Swim for it!

The cabin boy jumps off the ship. A pirate steps out with a crossbow and aims it at Gabrielle.

EXTRA
Hey, baby, now I've got'cha!

XENA
Ulysses, no!

Xena gets her chakram ready, but Ulysses jumps and takes the arrow in his shoulder. The pirate draws his sword.

EXTRA
Prepare to die!

END OF ACT ONE



ACT TWO

EXTRA
Prepare to die, Ulysses!

Xena flips down and throws the pirate off the ship. She looks at Ulysses's wound.

XENA
It's not bad.

ULYSSES
Easy for you to say.

XENA
You didn't need to do this. I would've gotten it
with my chakram.

ULYSSES
Now you tell me.

Xena breaks off the bottom of the arrow.

XENA
I'm gonna have to push this all the way through.
It's gonna hurt.

ULYSSES
As if it hasn't been hurting up to now?

Xena pushes through the arrow.

ULYSSES
That'll wake you up in the morning!

Ulysses starts to get up.

XENA
Where do you think you're going?

ULYSSES
I have to free the sail and man the helm, or we'll
run aground or worse.

XENA
I'll tie off the wheel. That'll keep us on course
until you get your legs back.

ULYSSES
You can sail a ship, too?

XENA
I have many skills.

Xena draws her sword. She cut a rope which takes her up to the sail. She cuts it free.

ULYSSES
What a woman.

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Xena bandages Ulysses' wound.

ULYSSES
I'd like to see that chakram in action. I've never
seen one before.

XENA
Yeah, I guess it's unique to me.

ULYSSES
I have something like that back home in Ithaca,
a weapon only I can use.

XENA
What is it?

ULYSSES
A bow.

XENA
A bow? What's so special about it?

ULYSSES
It's made of the hardest ironwood. It's so powerful
it can send an arrow through three warriors.

XENA
Mmm. I sure hope that doesn't get into the
wrong hands.

ULYSSES
I wouldn't worry about that. I'm the only one who
can string it.

XENA
Sounds like a good safeguard. But why'd you
leave it in Ithaca?

ULYSSES
It's an ancient heirloom of my family. Tradition
forbids ever taking it from the island.

XENA
Mmm.

ULYSSES
For someone who's so good at splitting heads,
you have a very gentle touch.

XENA
Like I said-

ULYSSES
Yeah, I know. You have many skills. And I appreciate
you using them on my behalf. I'll drop you off at
the next port and be on my way.

XENA
You need a crew, don't you?

ULYSSES
I'll recruit a couple of local adventurers. I've rigged
this ship so that a crew of three can man her.

XENA
By my count, you have three now.

ULYSSES
I couldn't ask you to-

XENA
You didn't.

ULYSSES
We'd be going up against a god. Your friend-

Gabrielle enters.

GABRIELLE
Goes where Xena goes.

XENA
I learned a long time ago not to try and leave her
out of anything.

GABRIELLE
Besides, I've always wanted to see Ithaca.

XENA
Of course, if you don't want us to come...

ULYSSES
No, I want you to come.

GABRIELLE
I have this funny feeling in my stomach. I guess
it's what they call seasickness, huh? It'll pass.

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Ulysses shows Xena a map.

ULYSSES
This is Ithaca and this is where we are. We'll be
out on the open sea for several days. Poseidon
will hit us with everything he's got. Every time
I've tried to run that gauntlet, the storms were so
bad, I had to...

Gabrielle walks by with a groan.

ULYSSES
...turn back.

Gabrielle sits down.

XENA
Why don't we move along this chain of islands
here and then we can leapfrog from island-to-island
and shelter from the storms.

ULYSSES
Well, that'd be perfect, except we'd have to pass
the island of the Sirens.

GABRIELLE
Sirens? Their song is said to call all men who
hear it to their death on the rocks of the island.

XENA
All men. I'm not a man.

ULYSSES
Yeah, I've noticed. So, do you think you can get
us past the Sirens?

XENA
Yeah, I do.

GABRIELLE
Hmm. I think I'll get some fresh air. This bobbing
up and down in one place is kind of getting to
me. Ahh. Yeah. Once we get on the high seas,
I'm gonna feel much better. Yep.

Gabrielle leaves.

ULYSSES
Is she going to be all right?

XENA
Oh, yeah.

ULYSSES
Right.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gabrielle throws up.

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Ulysses sails.

GABRIELLE
That's better.

Xena walks by Gabrielle. Gabrielle runs to the
side of the boat and throws up again. Xena moves
over to her.

XENA
Hey, Gabrielle, how's it hanging? Yep, the peaceful
grandeur of the sea sure has a kick to it, doesn't
it? Maybe you should just close your eyes and
smell the seagulls.

GABRIELLE
Xena, I will remember that, in my moment of
misery, you chose levity rather than sympathy.

XENA
A-ah, don't lose your sense of humor. You're
gonna need it in rough seas.

GABRIELLE
This isn't rough?

ULYSSES
Look! Poseidon's about to hit us with some
serious weather! It's going to get rough by nightfall!

GABRIELLE
Ah-h, Xena? Would you mind knocking me unconscious?

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Night. The boat is hit with rain and huge waves.

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Gabrielle is tossed about.

ULYSSES
If we can get past this storm, we'll be able to use
the islands for cover!

Xena ties Ulysses' hands.

ULYSSES
Ah, what are you doing?

Xena pushes Ulysses against a poll.

ULYSSES
Whoa!

XENA
Tying you up!

ULYSSES
All right, I'm game. What do you have in mind?

Xena ties him to the poll.

ULYSSES
Ow!

XENA
Saving your life. I told you I'd get you past the
island of the Sirens, didn't I?

Gabrielle grabs Xena.

GABRIELLE
Please, kill me.

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The Sirens' cave. The three dance. Poseidon appears in a large clam full of water.

POSEIDON
Sirens, listen to me. Ulysses is approaching.
You know what you're to do?

1ST SIREN
Yes, my lord.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The boat. The Sirens' song is heard.

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Xena steers.

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The Sirens' sing.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The island.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena hears their song.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses hears the song.

ULYSSES
You hear it?

Gabrielle hears it and looks up.

ULYSSES
It's so beautiful. I must go to it. They're calling
me...to ecstasy.

GABRIELLE
Think of something else, Ulysses like discus-throwing.

Ulysses tries to get out of his bonds.

ULYSSES
Gabrielle, please, undo me. I have to go.

GABRIELLE
I don't think that's a good idea.

Ulysses uses his foot to toss a broken piece of a pot.

GABRIELLE
Ulysses, what are you doing?

He starts to cut the rope.

GABRIELLE
Ulysses.

Gabrielle moves to him, but he kicks her. He breaks free.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The boat.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Sirens' sing.

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Ulysses punches Xena and takes the wheel.

XENA
Ulysses, no!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The boat turns to the island.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses steers.

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The Sirens' sing.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena kicks Ulysses and takes the wheel, turning it from the island.

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The Sirens' sing.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses hears them.

XENA
Don't listen to them!

Ulysses gets up on the rail.

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The Sirens' sing.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses is ready to jump into the water.

END OF ACT TWO



ACT THREE

Ulysses listens to the Sirens.

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The Sirens sing.

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Ulysses reaches out his hand. Xena starts to sing.

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The Sirens sing.

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Xena sings.

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The Sirens sing.

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Ulysses listens to the Sirens.

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Xena sings.

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Ulysses starts to break free.

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The Sirens sing.

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Ulysses starts to break free.

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The Sirens sing.

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Ulysses turns to face Xena and she finishes her song.

ULYSSES
Xena?

Ulysses jumps to the deck. Gabrielle enters.

ULYSSES
(to Gabrielle) Did I do that?

GABRIELLE
Yeah.

ULYSSES
I'm so sorry.

GABRIELLE
No, no, no, no. Don't--don't apologize. It was
good for me. The fear that my leg was broken
took my mind off my stomach...for a while.

Gabrielle moves away. Ulysses looks to Xena.

ULYSSES
You saved us all.

Xena smiles.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gabrielle sleeps. Ulysses enters.

XENA
I was just about to bring you something to eat.

ULYSSES
Don't tell me you're good with food, too.

XENA
Well, if it's possible to mess up bread and cheese,
I probably did.

ULYSSES
Well, that's all right, 'cause I have a great cook
in Ithaca.

XENA
Oh.

ULYSSES
I mean, if you're planning on staying on in Ithaca
for any time, I'll make sure that you and Gabrielle
are well fed. So, do you think you might be staying
on for a while?

XENA
Well, I don't want to get in the way of your homecoming.

ULYSSES
No, you wouldn't. You'd be the best part about it.
Xena, I don't know how to say this. And I'm sure
I'm gonna say it all wrong. I mean, I haven't known
you very long, and yet, in the short time that, I feel
that we've sp...I think I'm falling in love with you.
I know I'm moving fast, but I've never felt like this
about any woman. Yeah, I know what you're thinking.
What about my wife?

He takes Xena's hands.

ULYSSES
I was just a boy when I was with her. And we
were both very shy. I felt like I never really knew
her. Sometimes at Troy when I would think of her,
I'd wonder if it was her I loved so much, or my
ideal of her.

XENA
No, I'm sure she was very special.

ULYSSES
She was. Very. Yet, with you I feel like I've known
you all my life. Do you think I'm crazy?

XENA
I don't know.

She looks at Gabrielle.

XENA
She believes that everyone has a soul mate on
earth made just for them.

ULYSSES
Yes. Yes, that's exactly how I feel. Like I've found
my soul mate.

They kiss.

ULYSSES
So, do you think you might want to stay on in
Ithaca for a while, and see how things turn out?

XENA
I don't know. I'd have to think about it.

ULYSSES
Of course. Of course I, uh, I better get back to
the helm. Why don't you get some rest?

Ulysses leaves. He walks by Gabrielle who is awake and heard everything.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The boat sails.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena works on some ropes. Gabrielle joins her.

XENA
Feeling any better?

GABRIELLE
No, but I've gotten used to being miserable. Xena,
you know it's pretty obvious how he feels about
you. How do you feel about him?

XENA
You don't sleep as sound as I thought.

GABRIELLE
It's this torture chamber.

XENA
Well, sometimes on ship it helps to lie on your stomach.

GABRIELLE
Now, hey, don't change the subject. I need to know. Promise me one thing?

XENA
What?

GABRIELLE
You'll follow your heart and don't worry about me.

XENA
You're part of my heart.

GABRIELLE
Xena, do you remember what you told me
when--when Perdicus asked me to marry him?
You said that seeing me happy would make you
happy. I feel the same way.

XENA
Gabrielle, you've been so good for me. I don't
think I would ever have let myself feel the way I
feel now about Ulysses if it wasn't for you teaching
me how to love.

GABRIELLE
Did you say love?

XENA
Yeah, I guess I did.

GABRIELLE
I guess we'll be staying on awhile in Ith-

ULYSSES
Ithaca. Ithaca!

Xena and Gabrielle turn to see Ithaca.

GABRIELLE
Land! Thank the gods!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses drops and grabs the sand.

ULYSSES
I'm home.

Gabrielle kisses the ground.

GABRIELLE
Ah! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Dry land. Ah-h-h.

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The three move through the woods.

ULYSSES
See that hill? My friends and I would play king of
the mountain there. I remember it being so much
bigger. And look, look at this tree. I carved that
when I was five.

XENA
Oh.

GABRIELLE
What is it?

ULYSSES
It's an eagle. It was my favorite animal growing up.

XENA
It looks more like a fish to me.

ULYSSES
Hey, I was five. Funny, nothing seems quite the same.

They see pirates beating up Meticles. They join
the battle.

EXTRA
Stop him.

Gabrielle jumps over a guy and when he turns, she's behind him. She taps his shoulder.

GABRIELLE
Hey!

Gabrielle knocks him out. The pirates run off.

EXTRA
Run! Come on!

ULYSSES
Hello, Meticles.

METICLES
I'm sorry, I don't...Ulysses? Can it really be you?
Are you a ghost?

ULYSSES
Not yet. I'm flesh and blood, my friend!

They hug.

METICLES
We heard you were dead. Thank the gods you're here!

XENA
The gods have nothing to do with it.

ULYSSES
Meticles, these are my friends, Xena and Gabrielle.
Meticles grew up with Penelope and I. We were--we
were as close as three people could be. What's
the matter, my friend? A few hard knocks make
you cry?

METICLES
It's a tear of joy, Ulysses. I'm so happy you're
back to reclaim your kingdom, be reunited with
your wife.

ULYSSES
My wife? But, Meticles, Penelope is dead.

METICLES
No, Ulysses, I saw her just an hour ago. She's
sad, but, very much alive.

END OF ACT THREE



ACT FOUR

METICLES
Your home isn't what it used to be, Ulysses. It's
swarming with pirates. They call themselves
suitors to Penelope.

ULYSSES
Suitors?

METICLES
Yeah. Everyone here believes you're dead, just
as you believed Penelope was dead.

ULYSSES
This is all Poseidon's work. He obviously wanted
Penelope and I to give up hope of ever seeing
each other again. The fishermen who told me
of her death must have done so at his bidding.

METICLES
Ulysses, you must act quickly. The pirates have
created such chaos in the kingdom that the people
are clamoring for Penelope to take a husband.

ULYSSES
Do you remember the old moat?

METICLES
Of course.

ULYSSES
Does it still lead under the castle?

METICLES
I don't know. There's been a lot of cave-ins, lately.

XENA
Let's check it out.

They leave.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Inside the castle.

LAYOS
Penelope, our lord, Poseidon wishes one of us
to be the lawful ruler of Ithaca. You will choose
who that will be, now.

Penelope holds Ulysses' bow.

PENLOPE
The first man who can string this bow will be my king.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Underneath the castle.

ULYSSES
Gabrielle, the servants' quarters are up these stairs.

GABRIELLE
Okay.

ULYSSES
Grab some robes.

ULYSSES
Xena, there's something I want to tell you.

XENA
Ulysses-

ULYSSES
I've spent the last ten years wanting to come
home to my beloved Ithaca. But, I realize now,
it's not my home anymore. The little boy that used
to play here died a long time ago. I'm a man, now.

XENA
What are you getting at?

ULYSSES
I don't love Penelope. I don't know if I ever did. I
love you, more even than my homeland. It's not
my kingdom anymore. It's hers. When we clean
these pirates out of Ithaca, I'd like to travel with
you and Gabrielle.

XENA
I'm sorry, Ulysses. I should have been more
honest with you the other day.

ULYSSES
What do you mean?

XENA
I'm not in love with you. I don't think I ever could
be. I like my life the way it is.

ULYSSES
I don't believe you. I think you are in love with me.

XENA
Well, isn't that just a typical man? I give you a few
smiles and a kiss, and you're convinced that I'm
in love with you. You're kidding yourself. I was
embarrassed with all that mush you were spewing
the other night. The only reason I didn't shoot
you down right then is because I didn't think you
could handle it. So let me lay it on the line for you,
Ulysses, you're not my type.

He leaves. Gabrielle comes down with the robes.

XENA
I uh...

GABRIELLE
I understand.

XENA
He needs to decide whether he wants to stay
here without thinking about me. He deserves a
clean homecoming, and so does she.

GABRIELLE
What if he decides he doesn't want to stay here?

XENA
Well, after what I just said to him...

GABRIELLE
Xena, eventually he'll understand what you were
doing. He's very smart.

XENA
Yeah, he is. Well, who knows? Maybe the three
of us could do some good.

GABRIELLE
Yeah, we could.

XENA
We got work to do.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A suitor tries to string the bow. Layos pushes him aside and tries.

EXTRA
That's fine.

EXTRA
You can do better.

EXTRA
Not me.

Ulysses enters wearing the robe, the hood over his head. The dog Argus moves to Ulysses and whines.

ULYSSES
Argus? Go away, old boy.

Argus leaves. Layos can't string the bow.

LAYOS
This is impossible. No one but Ulysses can
string this bow and he's dead.

Ulysses doesn't reveal who he is.

ULYSSES
I can do it.

Xena and Gabrielle carry trays of cups.

LAYOS
A peasant? String Ulysses' bow? I doubt that.

ULYSSES
It's been said that anyone who can string the bow
becomes king of Ithaca. Why can't we peasants
get a chance?

EXTRAS
Yeah!

LAYOS
All right, take a try, but just you.

Ulysses takes the bow and tries to string it. He can't. Xena drops a cup and crawls under the table to get it. She crawls over to Ulysses and grabs the bow underneath. She pushes up the bow and Ulysses strings it. Everyone is shocked.

LAYOS
This is one of your tricks. How can a peasant
string Ulysses' bow?

ULYSSES
Because I am Ulysses, King of Ithaca.

EXTRA
Ulysses?

PENELOPE
Ulysses?

EXTRA
He's alive!

EXTRA
But not for long!

Ulysses punches Layos. Ulysses shoots his bow and kills three pirates.

EXTRA
It must be Ulysses!

EXTRA
Kill him!

Xena moves into the battle with a yell, and no longer in her robes. Xena gives her yell as she flips along the table. Ulysses fights Layos. Gabrielle joins the fight. Xena defeats the pirates. Ulysses kills Layos and Penelope runs up to her.

PENELOPE
Ulysses.

ULYSSES
Penelope.

Xena leaves.

XENA
Come on, Gabrielle.

Gabrielle and Xena run out.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boat.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sailors prepare the boat.

EXTRA
That'll hold!

XENA
All right, let's set sail!

EXTRA
Aye-aye, Xena!

ULYSSES
Hello, Xena.

XENA
Hello, Ulysses.

ULYSSES
Xena, I wanna come with you.

XENA
Ulysses-

ULYSSES
Now, enough with the tough talk. I now know
what you were doing when you said those things.
You were giving me a fair chance to get back with
Penelope, and I'm--I'm afraid it backfired. When
I figured out what you were doing, I--I loved you
more than ever.

XENA
What about Penelope?

ULYSSES
I don't love her, anymore.

XENA
Does she love you?

Ulysses says nothing.

XENA
She does.

ULYSSES
I don't know if she loves me. I don't know-

XENA
Ulysses, your kingdom needs you. Your wife
needs you. You're home at last. Whatever you
feel toward me will pass.

ULYSSES
No, and I don't think you'll forget me, either.

XENA
Maybe, but Iwon't take you away from your kingdom,
or your wife. Goodbye, Ulysses.

She turns to leave.

ULYSSES
Xena, please.

XENA
Go home. (gently) Go home.

Xena walks away from him and Ulysses leaves the boat.

GABRIELLE
How are you feeling?

XENA
Oh, splendid. Well, maybe not splendid, but...I'll
live. He'll learn to love her again. She's quite a
woman, standing up to those pirates all those years.

GABRIELLE
Yeah. She is. Do you think that he knows that
you helped him with the bow?

XENA
No. I don't think anyone knows, and I want it to
stay that way. This is Ulysses' story. And for years
the people of Ithaca will talk about how he bent
that bow. It's the way it should be.

GABRIELLE
But really you-

XENA
I got a chance to make someone I care about happy.

Xena watches Ulysses take Penelope's hand.

XENA
That's the best reward you can have in life.

Ulysses and Penelope hold up their hands in good-bye. Xena steers the boat.

XENA
Bring her about!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The boat sails.

EXTRA
Set sail!

END OF ACT FOUR

STARRING
Lucy Lawless as Xena
Renee O'Connor as Gabrielle

GUEST CAST
John D'Aquino as Ulysses
Rachel Blakely as Penelope
Tim Raby as Meticles
Carl Bland as Layos
Donna Pivac as 1st Siren
Geoffrey Knight as 1st Pirate
Charles Siebert as Poseidon

Written by: R.J. Stewart
Directed by: Michael Levine

Disclaimer: Despite Gabrielle's incessant hurling, Ulysses' ship was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.