Looking Death in the Eye


This transcript is dedicated to the memory of Kevin Smith


TEASER

Joxer sits at a bar.

BARTENDER
The usual?

JOXER
Mm-hmm.

RAMIUS
And sold! For thirty dinars!

INEBRIATED PATRON
Hey Ramius, what's the next item up for bid?

Ramius pulls out a scroll.

INEBRIATED PATRON
You can't be serious.

RAMIUS
Ah-h-h, but this isn't just any scroll.

The Inebriated Patron sighs.

RAMIUS
No my friends, I have in my hand, the last known
scroll transcribed by the Bard of Poteidaia herself!

Joxer, an old man, turns around.

RAMIUS
It describes, in breathtaking detail, the final
adventure of Xena-

Joxer takes the scroll.

RAMIUS
-the legendary Warrior Princess, who dared to
defy the gods!

Joxer opens the scroll.

JOXER
(whispers) Let's see.

Joxer looks at it.

JOXER
This is Gabrielle's handwriting. This is real!

RAMIUS
Ah, sure it is!

JOXER
'Bard of Poteidaia.' You know, I--I knew her. You
know, she was a friend of mine.

The Inebriated Patron chuckles.

JOXER
Xena was my friend too.

INEBRIATED PATRON
Xena was my housemaid.

Everyone laughs.

RAMIUS
Well friend, we'd best cut you off. What say I start
the bidding at-

INEBRIATED PATRON
Ten dinars!

PATRON #2
Twenty dinars!

INEBRIATED PATRON
Twenty-five!

JOXER
Cover your tab!

INEBRIATED PATRON
You should talk, Joxer, ya deadbeat! Thirty!

PATRON #2
Thirty-five dinar!

JOXER
Sixty-five dinars! Sold!

Joxer takes the scroll.

RAMIUS
Sixty-five dinars?!

Joxer leaves.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joxer and Meg's.

MEG (voice-over)
Wait a minute! You spent my nest egg on one
lousy piece of parchment?

JOXER (voice-over)
Please Meg, it's Gabrielle's last scroll. Maybe it
explains what she and Xena were doing.

MEG (voice-over)
What do you care?! Xena and Gabrielle are gone!
When are you gonna accept that?

Joxer steps out and walks to the barn.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Inside the barn. Joxer sits.

JOXER
O--kay, that was a little too fast.

Theon and Kara enter.

THEON
Is that a story about the harpies Daddy?

KARA
What is it? What is it?

JOXER
No it's, uh, it's, um, well, it's a story about a beautiful
Warrior Princess. Wanna hear a story about a
beautiful Warrior Princess? Okay. Okay.

He clears his throat then sighs.

JOXER
"Her, uh, her celebrations at Thebes, in Egypt,
were cut short because Xena the mighty Warrior
Princess fought both night and day for the life
of her newborn child as she continued to sing
the rage of her Olympian foes."

Joxer looks up.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Fates' temple.

JOXER (voice-over)
"Their ceaseless battles finally drove her to the Fates-

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena enters, holding Eve.

JOXER (voice-over)
-in search of answers."

XENA
I hope you don't mind. We were in the neighborhood.

LACHESIS
The Fates always welcome you here Xena. We're
pleasantly surprised.

XENA
Finding your kid topping the list of Olympus' Most
Wanted makes you do some pretty surprising
things. This is one of them.

CLOTHO
You wish us to speak for your child. Your child Xena-

ATROPOS
Will bring forth the twilight and usher in a new beginning.

XENA
Yes, I heard. I was hoping you could humour me
with a date.

CLOTHO
The Twilight will occur in time.

XENA
That's not very specific.

LACHESIS
The time depends on you Xena.

Gabrielle enters.

XENA
What do you mean? It's me that determines when
the Twilight begins? How?

ATROPOS
You must die Xena.

CLOTHO
Only in the essence of death, will the child find
salvation and the Twilight be set in motion. Until
then a storm without end lies upon your path
and hers.

GABRIELLE
You're saying that, the sooner Xena dies, the
faster Eve brings about the fall of the gods?
(whispering) No.

Gabrielle pulls Xena's arm.

GABRIELLE
Xena, let's go.

Xena holds up her hand and Gabrielle stops.

GABRIELLE
Hey, what are you doing? You're not listening to
them? Xena you have said we always determine
our own fate. It's not written for us. You've always
believed that.

XENA
I still believe that Gabrielle. So do they. It's the
only way. I have to die Gabrielle.

END OF TEASER



ACT ONE

Xena and Gabrielle walk along, Eve on Xena's back. Suddenly a green bolt is shot at Xena. She dodges and it hits the ground, exploding. Eve starts to cry. Xena looks for the source of the attack, when another bolt is fired. Xena dodges and looks again for the source. She kneels.

XENA
(to Eve) Sh-h-h-h-h-h-h. Quiet now.

Eve doesn't stop crying, but she does become quieter. Xena looks at Gabrielle and puts her finger to her lips. Xena looks up and listens. Eve stops crying. Gabrielle draws her sais. Xena draws her chakram and throws it. She flips with a yell as the chakram hits Hades, who is invisible and knocks him to the ground.

HADES
Uh! Uh!

Xena ululates, lands on a branch and catches the chakram. Hades' helmet falls off.

XENA
The Helmet of Invisibility.

Hades stands, now visible.

GABRIELLE
Hades.

Xena draws her sword and flips over to Hades with a yell. She uses her sword to send the helmet flying away from Hades.

XENA
You're not really a hat kind 'a guy.

Athena appears.

XENA
Well, Athena, you can call off your search. We
found Hades for you.

Athena's archers enter.

ATHENA
Thank you Xena, but I think you know who we're
really here for. I have to give you credit Xena. You
three are hard ones to catch up to, for mortals.

XENA
That's the beauty of being insignificant.

ATHENA
Hand her over. I promise you, she won't feel a thing.

HADES
There's no escape this time Xena.

XENA
We'll see about that.

Xena throws her chakram and takes out a few archers. Xena fights Athena and Gabrielle fights the archers. Athena cuts Xena on her upper right arm. Gabrielle has taken out the archers.

GABRIELLE
Xena! Toss Eve here!

XENA
No Gabrielle!

Hades attacks Gabrielle.

ATHENA
What's wrong Xena? No longer trust even Gabrielle
to protect your child?

Gabrielle and Xena fight the gods. Athena sends Xena flying and she lands next to the helmet. Hades sends Gabrielle flying and she lands next to Xena.

GABRIELLE
Any ideas?

XENA
Yeah, let's give them their hat back. Go Gabrielle.

Gabrielle throws the helmet and Xena throws the chakram, which breaks it. Sparks fly over the gods, which hurt them.

XENA
Let's go.

Xena and Gabrielle run off.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Octavius' camp.

EXTRA
Camp ready in five minutes sir!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Inside. Gabrielle writes and Octavius plays with Eve.

JOXER (voice-over)
"After narrowly escaping with our lives, we took
shelter for the night in the company of Octavius,
the new leader of the Roman army-

Xena enters with a small vial.

JOXER (voice-over)
-and a new ally unknown to the gods."

OCTAVIUS
Can I get you two anything else?

XENA
No Octavius, thank you.

OCTAVIUS
You never have to thank me Xena. I owe my life
to you and Gabrielle.

Octavius leaves and Xena looks at Gabrielle.

XENA
All right. Come here.

Xena puts some of the liquid on the cut on Gabrielle's face.

GABRIELLE
Ow! Ow. What is that?

XENA
It's poison.

Gabrielle stops Xena from putting more on her.

XENA
Only if you drink it. A little dab'll stop the spread
of infection.

GABRIELLE
Where did you get that?

XENA
Mom's medicine cabinet.

She uses it on her cut.

XENA
Hs-s-s-s-s-s-s! Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h.

GABRIELLE
Xena, what Athena said about, um, your not trusting
me with Eve-

XENA
Hey, it's not a matter of trust where Athena's
concerned. Giving Eve to you would have bought
her a few more seconds, but we both know they
would have killed her if they could have, regardless
of whose arms she was in.

She picks up Eve.

XENA
We got lucky. She's just a baby.

Xena moves off.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Olympus.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
All the gods are gathered, Athena sitting in a throne before them.

ATHENA
Xena never dies. And why is that?

HEPHAESTUS
Just get her in my chains Athena, then we'll see
how long she lives.

ATHENA
Thank you Hephaestus. Your youthful exuberance
is greatly appreciated.

Ares appears.

ARES
If you ask me Sis and you haven't...I can think of no
better expert to pose your query to than...Death herself.

Celesta appears.

ATHENA
Celesta, we're doing everything we can to ensure
our survival, but we can't finish the job until you
pay a visit to Xena and her child.

CELESTA
I'm sorry Athena, Ares and my beloved brother
Hades, but you know it's not in Death's nature
to discriminate.

ATHENA
Even when your own life is on the line?

CELESTA
As long as my flame continues to burn, Death
will remain a part of life for eternity Athena.

ATHENA
Meaning you might somehow be immune to
the prophecy.

She chuckles.

ATHENA
If I didn't know better, I'd say Death's getting a
little cocky.

CELESTA
Prophecy or not, it is forbidden for any mortal to
be taken before their rightful time.

Athena stands quickly.

ATHENA
Celesta!

Ares chuckles.

ATHENA
We know you can't help but care for the mortals
you interact with so personally, but just remember,
you can't deny them their rightful time, either.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hephaestus' cave.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena jumps in, unseen by Hephaestus. Hephaestus forges a helmet.

XENA
So if you're the god of arts and crafts-

She flips down in front of him.

XENA
-what do you do for a hobby?

HEPHAESTUS
Help my family kill your child by first killing you Xena.

XENA
No, that's a perversion-

She draws her sword.

XENA
-not a hobby.

HEPHAESTUS
Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!

Hephaestus has a hammer in one hand and picks up his chains in the other. He knocks Xena off of her feet with the chains. He brings down his hammer and Xena blocks it with her sword, but Hephaestus pushes his hammer down and Xena's other arm is cut with her sword. Hephaestus kicks her in the face. Hephaestus brings down his hammer, but Xena rolls aside. Xena kicks Hephaestus and gets to her feet. She throws her chakram, which hits him in the chest. Hephaestus hits Xena in the stomach with his hammer and then in the face, which sends Xena flying. She crashes into a stone pillar and breaks it. Xena is sitting, holding her stomach in pain. Hephaestus moves on her. Celesta appears. There is blood coming from Xena's mouth.

HEPHAESTUS
How does it feel Xena? How does it feel to finally
be in the presence of Death herself?

XENA
What took you so long?

END OF ACT ONE



ACT TWO

Xena is in pain. Hephaestus raises his hammer. Gabrielle enters and grabs his arm with Xena's whip. Gabrielle pulls Hephaestus back and he drops his chains.

GABRIELLE
Xena! His chains!

Gabrielle draws sais. Xena picks up the chains. Hephaestus fights Gabrielle. Xena runs to Celesta.

XENA
I'm sorry Celesta. I'm gonna have to ask you to stay.

She swings the chains.

XENA
Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!

Xena throws the chains, which wrap around Celesta. Gabrielle fights Hephaestus.

XENA
The chains of Hephaestus hold even the gods.

Hephaestus kicks Gabrielle to the ground. Xena joins in the battle and both she and Gabrielle fight Hephaestus. They knock Hephaestus into a pit.

HEPHAESTUS
Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-
h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!

Hephaestus falls into the lava. Xena puts her hand on Gabrielle's shoulder and Gabrielle helps her over to Celesta.

GABRIELLE
That was close.

CELESTA
Xena, what are you doing?

XENA
Check her hands.

Celesta's hands are tied behind her back.

GABRIELLE
It worked. She can't touch us.

XENA
Good.

CELESTA
Your confrontation with Hephaestus, that's exactly
what you wanted, how you lured me to you.

XENA
Believe me lady, if there was a better way for us
to hook up, I'd have done it.

CELESTA
Xena how could you?

XENA
Gabrielle get her outta here.

Gabrielle takes the chain and leads Celesta out. Xena leans over, holding her side. She stands and limps over to Celesta's candle, which she picks up. Xena limps out.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Outside. Celesta is in the wagon. Xena steps out.

GABRIELLE
Celesta's secured.

XENA
Good.

Octavius enters and hands Eve to Xena.

XENA
Hey sweetheart.

Gabrielle is on the wagon. Xena hands Eve to her.

XENA
Octavius thanks for babysitting.

OCTAVIUS
Anytime.

XENA
You're a good friend.

They clasp arms and Xena gets on the wagon with Gabrielle.

XENA
We'll be seeing ya. (to horses) Come on.

The wagon moves off.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Olympus. Ares appears on Athena's throne.

ATHENA
First, there was Eli. The masses adored him
and the message he conveyed. You killed him.

ARES
Again with the Eli. He had to die, Sis. How many
times do I have-

Athena walks slowly over to Ares.

ATHENA
His death sparked the uprising against us that
Xena, capitalized on at Amphipolis, where you,
chose to fight at her side I might add.

Athena puts her hands on the throne and leans over Ares.

ATHENA
What's left to come?

Hephaestus and Hades enter.

HEPHAESTUS
Athena, Xena took Celesta.

ARES
Well, I guess you got your answer.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Campfire. Gabrielle holds Eve.

GABRIELLE
(sings) Hush now, my little one
Please don't you cry.

Gabrielle hums and walks along with Eve.

GABRIELLE
One day you'll have your own horse.

CELESTA
Xena you should know that my brother, and Athena
and all Olympus will stop at nothing to find me.

XENA
Then they'd better hurry up, 'cause if I'm not
mistaken Celesta, when this candle burns
out...you die. Imagine that, the death of Death
herself...and me and my kid will live forever.

CELESTA
Xena this isn't like you. Or you Gabrielle. At one
time you both fought to free me.

XENA
You're right. Somehow motherhood has made
me harder.

CELESTA
Even giving birth to a child isn't enough to sway
someone so grounded in their beliefs.

XENA
And how's that?

CELESTA
By holding me here, you're condemning to eternal
suffering those who would otherwise find their peace.

XENA
Lady since we last met I've decided you cause
a lot more suffering than you end.

CELESTA
Death is nothing to fear Xena, for I only visit those
whose rightful time i-

XENA
Rightful time?! Who decides when it's the rightful
time? You are at the beck and call of every warlord
and murderer. Solan, my only son...his rightful
time came when someone else decided it should,
and you came running, no questions asked. You
didn't end the suffering of my little boy Celesta.
You stole his life, and Marcus, and Lyceus.

CELESTA
Your brother.

GABRIELLE
Xena-

XENA
Lyceus. Lyceus. He wasn't just a brother he was
my best friend. You know, growing up, he was
everything to me. He accepted me for who and
what I was. And if you hadn't taken him, he would
have grown up to be something-

GABRIELLE
Xena, don't do this.

Xena has tears on her face.

XENA
(whispering) What?

GABRIELLE
She's immortal. She'll never understand the pain
of losing someone.

XENA
Yes she will. Yes she will...'cause you have a
brother too.

CELESTA
Yes, Hades. He's my only family, the first to accept
me for who and what I am. I may not agree with
his recent actions Xena but I believe he thinks
he's doing what is right. He's always been true
to his convictions and, sometimes that makes
him a little, stubborn, but I believe it is his noblest
quality. To lose him, is, unthinkable.

XENA
And what if he lost you? What would he say about that?

CELESTA
I may never know.

Tears flow down Celesta's face. Xena wipes her tears away.

XENA
Death can end suffering Celesta. Suffering just
begins for those left behind. I won't allow it any longer.

Xena moves to Gabrielle.

XENA
I can't lose what's left of my family-

She takes Eve.

XENA
-and I won't lose another child.

Xena lays Eve in the wagon.

GABRIELLE
You know she's right about one thing Xena; the gods
will stop at nothing. Holding Celesta prevents them
from killing anyone but they'll inflict pain, suffering.

XENA
Starting with the one most vulnerable.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moon.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A tavern.

EXTRA
Bartender! Another one!

Gabrielle enters to find Joxer.

JOXER
Hey! Gabby! Hi! Hey listen they have the best ale
in this place. I mean it's like bubbly and-

Gabrielle pushes him along.

GABRIELLE
No, we've got to-

JOXER
-all kind of-

Athena's archers enter.

LEAD ARCHER
Joxer I presume.

JOXER
Yeah, yeah that's, uh spelled with an 'X.'

He clears his throat.

JOXER
The 'X' is for uh, "Extra super sexy."

GABRIELLE
Joxer, these people-

JOXER
Not now.

He clears his throat.

LEAD ARCHER
Athena thanks you for being Xena and Gabrielle's
most high-profile acquaintance.

JOXER
Oh, well, uh, I'm very high-profile all around town.

Gabrielle draws her sais as two archers move towards Joxer.

JOXER
'Mr. Get-around town,' they call me actually, in
certain circles.

The archers grab Joxer and pull him towards the bar.

JOXER
Oh, hello girls.

GABRIELLE
Let him go.

Hades and Athena appear. Joxer looks up in surprise. Gabrielle attacks Athena, but Athena disarms her and kicks her back.

END OF ACT TWO



ACT THREE

Hades starts to step forward.

ATHENA
So, looks like Xena couldn't leave death in your
hands either.

GABRIELLE
Look, the baby can't do anything-

Hades picks her up by her throat.

GABRIELLE
Ah-ah-h! Ow-w-w.

HADES
Where, is my sister?

ATHENA
Hades, Gabrielle is no use to us dead.

Hades throws her back.

ATHENA
You can't kill the child until Celesta's free, and
given our time constraint, diplomacy is the best
way of accomplishing that. But then again.

Athena holds up her hand and the archers toss Joxer to her. Athena holds his throat.

ATHENA
Where is she?

JOXER
Don't tell her anything Gabrielle. Anything
Goldy-pants here can dish out I can take.

Athena tightens her grip on his throat.

JOXER
Okay, tell her. Tell her.

GABRIELLE
She's headed to the ocean.

JOXER
Mm-hmm.

Athena lets Joxer go and the archers grab Gabrielle.

ATHENA
Details to follow I'm sure.

Athena leaves and the archers follow with Gabrielle.

GABRIELLE
Joxer!

JOXER
Gabby?

Joxer tries to follow, but the Lead Archer punches him, knocking him out.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sun rises.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Celesta is dying. Xena puts the candle next to her. It's almost burnt out. Athena appears.

XENA
Athena, we were just going on a joy ride to
celebrate being immortal.

Athena looks at the candle.

XENA
Oh Celesta, well, it's too late for her I'm afraid.

ATHENA
I hope that's not true Xena, for Gabrielle's sake.

XENA
What have you done with her?

The archers enter with Gabrielle.

GABRIELLE
Xena, I'm sorry I had no choice.

ATHENA
It's very simple Xena: Gabrielle for Celesta.

GABRIELLE
Let the candle burn Xena.

ATHENA
Do that Xena, and your little girl will still be hunted,
for eternity. She may never know death but I
promise you, she will never know peace.

XENA
All right.

GABRIELLE
No Xena.

XENA
Gabrielle, come on. It's all right.

GABRIELLE
(whispering) All right.

The archers let Gabrielle go. Xena hauls Celesta to her feet and takes off the chains. Celesta takes her candle and it grows back to its normal size and Celesta floats again.

ATHENA
I'll be needing you Celesta.

CELESTA
My presence is required elsewhere Athena.

Celesta disappears. Ares appears on the wagon. He picks up the reins.

ARES
Come on, give us a head start. I don't think that's
too much to ask, do you Sis?

ATHENA
I think it is.

Hades and Hephaestus appear. Xena swings the chains. Athena holds up her sword, which starts to form a fireball. Xena uses the chains to pull it from her hands and then hits Hades and Hephaestus with the chains. Xena yells and flips onto the wagon next to Ares. Gabrielle is in the back with Eve. They ride off.

ATHENA
(to archers) You know what to do. Let them clear
the forest first, then drive them to us.

The archers leave.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joxer walks along.

JOXER
The ocean. Xena's headed towards the ocean.

Joxer runs.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The horses pull the wagon.

XENA
Yah!

Ares is looking at Xena.

XENA
What?!

ARES
It's time to 'fess up Xena. They're relentless.
They're gonna keep coming and coming and I
think you know it. So what you need is you need
me and you need me now. I'm the only one that
can make this go away.

XENA
Yah! Why are you always asking for something
you are never going to get?! Get off! Yah!

ARES
Oh, gee, I guess this is my exit.

Ares disappears.

XENA
Yah!

Xena sees Hades standing just outside the woods.

XENA
All right Gabrielle, we're on!

Xena gives a yell as they move towards Hades. Hades shoots a green bolt but misses. He shoots another, which also misses, but it shakes the wagon and Gabrielle drops her scroll.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Barn. Joxer lowers the scroll.

KARA
What happened Daddy?

JOXER
Uh-h-h-h-h, well it's the end of the scroll, Pumpkin,
but it's not the end of the story.

THEON
How do you know?

JOXER
'Cause I was there.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joxer watches from the woods. The archers line up and fire at the wagon. Xena ducks. Athena appears. The archers fire and Xena ducks. Xena rides the wagon through the archers and they get out of the way. Hephaestus appears. Xena rides the wagon to the cliff, which looks down over the beach and the ocean. She turns and rides along the edge of the cliff.

XENA
Come on!

The archers run and the line up to fire.

XENA
Gabrielle!

Gabrielle throws her sais and kills two archers. The rest of the archers regroup and form a line in front of the wagon.

XENA
Whoa!

Xena stops the wagon and throws her chakram, knocking out the archers. Athena draws her sword and raises it over her head. It forms a fireball, which hits the wagon.

XENA
Gabrielle! Ah-h-h-h!

The horses' reins are burned loose.

GABRIELLE
Uh!

ATHENA
It ends now.

XENA
Gabrielle.

Gabrielle passes out. Athena raises her sword, Hephaestus his hammer and Hades his hand. Athena throws her sword, Hephaestus his hammer and Hades shoots a green bolt.

XENA
Gabrielle.

Xena reaches over and picks up Gabrielle. The sword, hammer and bolt hit the wagon. It explodes and is sent flying over the cliff. Xena and Gabrielle lie on the sand. Xena wakes up. The gods move to the edge of the cliff and Joxer moves to another spot to watch. Xena gets to her knees.

XENA
Gabrielle?

Xena looks at the wagon. She stands.

XENA
Eve? Eve?!

Xena kicks aside pieces of the wagon. Xena moves to the burning wagon.

XENA
Eve?

Xena looks at the wagon.

XENA
(whispering) Eve.

Xena looks at the burning wagon, knowing Eve is inside.

XENA
Eve? Oh, oh. Oh!

Xena backs away from the wagon, holding her stomach.

ATHENA
The prophecy has been shattered.

XENA
No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

JOXER
Oh, no.

Xena moves to Gabrielle.

XENA
Gabrielle? Gabrielle? Oh Gabrielle.

Xena rolls Gabrielle over and holds her. She starts to cry.

JOXER
Oh gods.

Xena sobs as she stands. She stops and looks up at the gods.

XENA
Each to his own.

She draws her sword.

XENA
You to yours, and me to mine!

Xena twirls the sword and holds it at her stomach.

XENA
Ah-h-h-h-h!

Xena gets ready to plunge her sword into her stomach, but Ares appears and stops her. He takes her sword and throws it away.

ARES
No Xena. Don't.

XENA
Ares-

She holds up the vial of poison.

XENA
-you can't stop me this time.

ARES
No.

XENA
It's over. It's over.

Xena drinks the poison. Ares holds her.

XENA
Join your family. Tell them it's a package deal.
They get me too.

Xena dies and Ares gently lowers her to the ground. Athena, Hephaestus and Hades disappear.

END OF ACT THREE



ACT FOUR

Ares looks at Xena. There's a flash. Joxer walks over to the wreckage. There's another flash. Ares picks up Xena's body. Gabrielle is gone. Ares holds Xena in his arms and disappears with her. Joxer falls to his knees. Octavius rides in with three Romans.

OCTAVIUS
Unbelievable. Where are they? Joxer, good to
see you again. Where's Xena and Gabrielle?

JOXER
Octavius, they're gone. I saw the whole thing but
I was too far away. I couldn't help them.

OCTAVIUS
Joxer, they're not dead.

JOXER
(whispering) What?

He grabs Octavius.

JOXER
What?!

Octavius motions with his hand and a soldier comes over with Eve. Octavius takes her.

JOXER
Eve. It can't be. Eve?

Joxer smiles.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Barn.

THEON
Dad, how was Eve alive?

JOXER
Okay, okay. Remember back. What did the Fates
tell Xena?

KARA
That she had to die, to save Eve?

JOXER
That's right. But remember, you can't take what
the fates say literally. They said, "Only-
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fates Temple.

CLOTHO
Only in the essence of death, will the child find
salvation and the twilight be set in motion.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Barn.

JOXER
"The essence of death."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The beach.

OCTAVIUS
The tears Joxer. Did you see her drink the tears?

JOXER
She drank poison Octavius.

Joxer speaks over Octavius.

OCTAVIUS
But it wasn't poison.

JOXER (voice-over)
But it wasn't poison.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena and Gabrielle's camp from earlier.

JOXER (voice-over)
You see Xena never intended to kill death at all.
It was Celesta's tears she really needed.

Xena wipes away Celesta's tears and drops them into the vial that once held the poison.

JOXER
The essence of Death.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The beach from earlier. Xena drinks the tears from the vial which once held the poison.

JOXER (voice-over)
The only thing Xena realized that could simulate
the appearance of their deaths to the gods-

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The beach from earlier. Xena looks for Eve.

XENA
Eve?

JOXER (voice-over)
-but only after convincing the gods that Eve had
also been killed.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Barn.

THEON
But, Eve was in-

JOXER
Eve was in the wagon.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The beach.

JOXER
Eve was in that cart.

OCTAVIUS
No Joxer.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena and Gabrielle's camp from earlier.

GABRIELLE
You know she's right about one thing Xena; the
gods will stop at nothing.

Xena puts Eve in the wagon, but Octavius is there and takes her.

GABRIELLE
Holding Celesta prevents them from killing anyone
but they'll inflict pain, suffering.

Octavius leaves with Eve. Xena places a false Eve in the basket.

JOXER (voice-over)
Eve was safe. The tears were collected. Next,
release Celesta without it looking suspicious.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The bar from earlier. Hades holds Gabrielle by the throat.

JOXER (voice-over)
Gabrielle got captured, on purpose. Trying to rescue
me made her capture look like it was unplanned.

ATHENA
Where is she?

JOXER
Okay, tell her! Tell her!

JOXER (voice-over)
Gabrielle revealed Xena's location.

GABRIELLE
She's headed to the ocean.

ATHENA
Details to follow I'm sure.

Athena leaves.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Barn.

JOXER
The rest of the plan played out.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The wagon moves along from earlier.

JOXER (voice-over)
The gods assumed, Xena-

XENA
Yah!

JOXER (voice-over)
-and her child were inseparable.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The cliff from earlier. Athena shoots a fireball.

XENA
Gabrielle!

JOXER (voice-over)
My guess, my hope, was that Gabrielle drank
the tears first.

Gabrielle drinks the tears.

JOXER (voice-over)
From that point all they had to do was put on a
convincing show.

Xena holds Gabrielle. The wagon is sent over the edge of the cliff. Xena holds Gabrielle and pushes off of the wagon, yelling as she flips. She hits hard and Gabrielle rolls away, but both are alive.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The beach from earlier. Xena holds Gabrielle.

JOXER (voice-over)
To the gods-

XENA
Gabrielle.

JOXER (voice-over)
-Gabrielle was killed in the crash.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The beach from earlier. Xena moves to the burning wagon.

XENA
Eve?

JOXER (voice-over)
Eve was dead-

It's the stature from Hephaestus' cave in the fire.

JOXER (voice-over)
-consumed in the burning wreckage.

XENA
No-o-o-o-o!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The beach from earlier.

JOXER (voice-over)
And even if they weren't completely convinced-

Xena drinks the tears.

JOXER (voice-over)
-what better way to solve that problem than by
Xena, taking her own life?

XENA
Tell them it's a package deal. They get me too.

Xena 'dies' and the gods disappear. Joxer runs to the wreckage.

JOXER (voice-over)
The effect of the tears would soon wear off with
Xena, Eve and Gabrielle presumed dead by all
of Olympus, the perfect cover. The perfect advantage.

Ares disappears with Xena.

JOXER (voice-over)
But one thing happened, they never could have predicted.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joxer is with Octavius on the beach.

JOXER
Ares took them away...just before you got here.

OCTAVIUS
Oh no.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mount Etna. Ares carries Xena as snow blows.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ares carries Xena into a cave. He lays her in an ice coffin. Gabrielle is another one beside Xena.

ARES
You're with her now. I handled you, all wrong. I know
that. She knew what you needed. Unconditional,
and unselfish love, and I couldn't give that to you.
But I appreciated you in ways she never could.
Your rage, your violence, your beauty. When you
sacrificed yourself for others you were hers, but
when you kicked ass, you were mine.

He kisses her.

ARES
I love you Xena.

Ares puts the lid of the coffin on Xena. He takes her sword and plants it into a chuck of ice. He picks up the chakram and hangs it on the sword.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ares steps out of the cave, seals it with a sheet of ice and disappears.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena and Gabrielle are in the ice coffins.

END OF ACT FOUR

STARRING
Lucy Lawless as Xena
Lucy Lawless as Meg
Renee O'Connor as Gabrielle

GUEST CAST
Ted Raimi as Joxer
Kevin Smith as Ares
Paris Jefferson as Athena
Stephen Lovatt as Hades
Theresa Healey as Celesta
Jason Hoyte as Hephaestus
Mark Warren as Octavius
Samantha Adriaanse as Clotho
Elizabeth Pendergrast as Atropos
Chloe Jordan as Lachesis
Michael Langley as Theon
Kate Smeda as Kara
Jed Brophy as Ramius
Bruce Burfield as Inebriated Patron
Bob Blackwell as Bartender
Alister Babbage as Patron #2
Rachel Gilchrist as Lead Archer

Written by: Carl Ellsworth
Directed by: Garth Maxwell

Disclaimer: Death almost died during the production of this motion picture.