Heart of Darkness


TEASER

Heaven. Angles fly about. Michael and Raphael look down at the portal to Hell.

MICHAEL
Xena will never go down to Hell voluntarily.

RAPHAEL
When she opened up that portal and killed
Mephistopheles, she became him. You know the
rules. She belongs on that throne.

MICHAEL
The last time Xena was in Hell - she almost
captured Heaven.

RAPHAEL
Well, we've gotta do something. We can't just
leave her on Earth with pure evil streaming out
of that portal.

LUCIFER
Aren't you two inspiring? Michael and Raphael,
chief warrior angels of the chief himself, quaking
like a couple of frightened children.

MICHAEL
You're very sure of yourself, aren't you?

LUCIFER
I'm sure of both my faith and my devotion, which
has fueled my speedy ascent up the hierarchy. A
climb that will continue - with a promotion to Seraphim.

MICHAEL
And how do you plan to achieve that?

LUCIFER
By throwing Xena down into Hell myself.

MICHAEL
You realize Xena has the power to destroy angels.

LUCIFER
She will use that power unless I send her to Hell.

Michael and Raphael share a glance.

MICHAEL
Very well. Proceed.

Lucifer disappears.

RAPHAEL
He just may be the right one for the job.

MICHAEL
He may be perfect.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Amphipolis. Cyrene's Tavern.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Behind the tavern, Gabrielle and Eve stand before the portal to Hell.

EVE
A great evil is coming, Gabrielle. I can feel it.

GABRIELLE
Maybe that's because you're standing near the
portal to Hell.

EVE
Maybe, but there's a reason it's remained open,
even after Mephistopheles' death. It's waiting
for something.

Lucifer appears, hovering in the air.

LUCIFER
Yes, it is, Eve. It wants your mother.

GABRIELLE
Who...why are you here?

LUCIFER
To do what Eve knows in her heart must be done.
But since we're both on the same side-

Gabrielle looks at Eve who shakes her head.

LUCIFER
-I felt that she at least deserved the courtesy of
a quick goodbye.

GABRIELLE
Xena.

Gabrielle and Eve run off. Lucifer smiles.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aliyah pets Argo the Second. Xena enters and grabs Aliyah by the back of her neck.

XENA
Get away from my horse.

Xena pulls her back.

ALIYAH
I was just being friendly.

XENA
I've heard that before.

ALIYAH
I came to offer my services, Xena. After everything
you've done for the city and our people, I'd like
to help restore your mother's tavern.

XENA
Well, thanks.

Xena starts to braid Argo the Second's mane. Gabrielle and Eve run over to her.

GABRIELLE
Xena? Xena, we've got a problem.

XENA
Let me guess, it's huge and potentially devastating.

Gabrielle and Eve share a look. Lucifer appears. Eve smiles.

ALIYAH
An angel.

LUCIFER
Well, I'm more than an angel. I'm an archangel,
destined to become a household name, especially
after I send Xena to Hell.

He draws his sword.

XENA
So it is huge and potentially devastating.

She draws her sword.

XENA
Goody.

Xena runs at Lucifer, who throws an energy ball that knocks Xena off of her feet. Xena lands hard and then looks up to see Lucifer's sword at her throat.

EVE
As Eli's messenger, I tell you this is wrong.

LUCIFER
What's wrong is your mother's selfish refusal to
bow to the prophecy of Mephistopheles' throne.
Fortunately, Heaven's got me on its side. Now,
if you'll excuse us - we have a steaming portal
to get to.

Gabrielle draws her sais. Lucifer shoots an energy ball at her, but Gabrielle steps back just in time to dodge the energy ball, but she drops her sais in the process.

LUCIFER
Stay out of this, Gabrielle. I wish you no harm.

XENA
That's surprisingly decent, coming from one so
guilty of indecent exposure.

Xena looks below Lucifer's belt and raises an eyebrow. Lucifer looks down. Xena kicks his sword hand away and then kicks him back. She retrieves her sword.

LUCIFER
I expose nothing.

XENA
Except your abundant pride.

They fight. Lucifer punches Xena in the stomach and they stop fighting, Xena looking at him with rude shock.

LUCIFER
You're obviously not aware that this pride you
accuse me of is a mortal sin.

XENA
One of the seven deadlies, in fact. So I can
understand you wanting to keep it quiet, being an
angel and all.

LUCIFER
You twist my words.

XENA
No, I straighten them out. And you should thank
me, because they're the last ones you're ever
gonna speak.

Xena takes a swing at his legs, but he jumps and kicks her back. Lucifer shoots an energy ball, but Xena flips to the site. She runs at him and he fires another energy ball, but Xena flips again, this time landing before him. Xena kicks Lucifer back and then flips and lands before him once more. They fight. Lucifer shoots a ball of energy, but Xena blocks it back at him with her sword. He raises his hand to shield his eyes and Xena kicks his sword from his hand, then kicks his legs out from under him. He falls to the ground and Xena kneels beside him, sword ready to strike the killing blow.

XENA
Because I am a generous soul, I'm going to make
sure that Gabrielle records your household name
for all of posterity.

LUCIFER
Lucifer. My name's Lucifer.

XENA
Has a nice ring. Kinda like a death knell.

She laughs, then raises her sword, ready to kill him.

END OF TEASER



ACT ONE

Xena is ready to bring down her sword on Lucifer.

EVE
Mother, don't.

Xena stops, but still holds her sword at the ready.

EVE
You can't murder a servant of god.

XENA
Was he serving god when he tried to send me
to Hell?

GABRIELLE
No.

LUCIFER
Yes.

EVE
It's not always possible for mankind to understand
or interpret god's will.

Xena lowers her sword.

LUCIFER
Well, well, seems you've got quite a dilemma
here, Xena, 'cause you know if you don't kill me
now, I'll try again.

XENA
Well, that's what I'm counting on. You see, things
have been a little dull around here since Mephistopheles
lost his crown. Come on, Luci - I won't bite.

She helps him up and puts an arm around his shoulders.

XENA
You don't mind if I call ya Luci, do ya?

LUCIFER
No.

XENA
Lucifer. Lucironi. Big Al.

Lucifer's wings fold up and vanish into his back.

XENA
Good trick. Come on, let me buy ya a drink. It's
all right. I know the owner.

Xena leads Lucifer towards the tavern. Eve looks at Xena and then through her, to her heart, to see a black evil growing there.

GABRIELLE
(whispering) What was that?

EVE
A cancerous evil has taken root within her heart
and is at this very moment destroying her soul.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The portal to Hell.

XENA (voice-over)
As usual, you two are completely overreacting.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Inside the tavern. Xena, Gabrielle and Eve are on a bench, facing away from the table. Xena is packing a picnic basket.

GABRIELLE
"Overreacting"? You don't get it. Xena, this evil
is seeping up through Hell. It's coming through
that portal, straight to your heart.

EVE
You may not be descending to Mephistopheles'
throne voluntarily, but obviously it's coming up
to claim it's new queen.

XENA
You mean its rightful ruler.

GABRIELLE
That would be you.

XENA
Not if I can find someone else to take my place.

She looks at Lucifer.

XENA
Him.

GABRIELLE
You're gonna turn an archangel into the king
of Hell?

XENA
Oh, he's less of an angel than I am. He just doesn't
know it yet.

GABRIELLE
So, how do you plan on making him see the light?

XENA
By showing him how much he's gonna love the dark.

Xena picks up the basket, but Eve places a hand on her thigh.

EVE
Eli says, "To corrupt another is to corrupt yourself."

XENA
Evie.

She stands and leads Eve with her to look at Lucifer.

XENA
Listen. Fruit rots from the inside out. It's not called
corruption if you just peel away the layers to expose
the rotten core. That is, unless you want Mommy
to go to Hell.

Eve shakes her head.

XENA
Well, then...

Xena walks over to Lucifer.

LUCIFER
Nice place you got here.

XENA
Well, that's the last time I let an evil demon do
the redecorating. Trust me - the more you drink,
the better it looks.

LUCIFER
No one's that thirsty.

XENA
You'd be surprised. Come on.

She leaves and he follows.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a clear patch in the woods, Xena is sitting on a blanket, humming, with a drink in her hand.

XENA
Come on. Take a load off.

Lucifer sits. Bugs buzz.

XENA
You know, I've traveled the world and I've never
found a place with such tranquillity.

Lucifer slaps a bug that has landed on his cheek.

XENA
Here's to worldy delights.

She offers him a glass, but he does not take it.

XENA
Oh, come on. When on Earth...

He takes the glass. Xena eats. Lucifer smells the glass, then drinks from it.

XENA
Hm-m.

LUCIFER
Ah-h.

XENA
You know, the world has many such pleasures
to offer, Lucifer, which is why I'm not thinking of
leaving it any time soon, despite what you and
your friend Michael might have planned.

LUCIFER
You mean despite what you promised.

XENA
I never promised anything when I vanquished
Mephistopheles.

LUCIFER
But you were aware that came with certain obligations.
Even heroism comes with a price, Xena.

XENA
It also brings unexpected rewards, just like it
brought you to me.

LUCIFER
You say that like it's a good thing.

XENA
It's not often that I meet an adversary whose other
attributes equal his prowess with a sword.

Xena takes a bite from a leg of chicken. Lucifer stares at her.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The portal to Hell.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eve stands before a group of villagers, Gabrielle at her side.

EVE
Eli's love - it's reward enough in itself. It blesses
both the giver and the receiver. It-

YOUNG GUY VILLAGER
Sounds like a bunch of ox dung to me.

The villagers laugh.

EXTRA
You got that right.

EXTRA
You tell her.

EVE
That's because we've been raised on this ignorant
notion that riches and selfishness can fill the
emptiness in our souls.

HOUSEWIFE VILLAGER
If that's true then I say let's leave the enlightenment
and the poverty to the poets and the prophets.

EVE
No-o-o.

YOUNG GUY VILLAGER
You would say that, you stupid sow, the way you
and that lazy husband of yours have been stealing
from us for years.

HOUSEWIFE VILLAGER
Oh, please! You don't even know what you are
talking about!

YOUNG GUY VILLAGER
Fifteen bricks, fourteen quarts of water! Fifteen-

HOUSEWIFE VILLAGER
You!

The villagers all begin yelling at each other.

GABRIELLE
I don't know what's wrong with them.

HOUSEWIFE VILLAGER
Oh!

Eve looks at the villagers and then through them to their hearts to see the same black evil growing there that she saw in Xena's.

HOUSEWIFE VILLAGER
You really-

EVE
I do.

The villagers keep yelling at one another.

EXTRA
You.

Aliyah enters.

ALIYAH
Gabrielle, there's a man here looking for you and Xena.

HOUSEWIFE VILLAGER
You!

Gabrielle and Eve follow Aliyah away.

YOUNG GUY VILLAGER
I saw the evidence. I saw an amulet lying there
on the ground. It was a green-

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena and Lucifer are on the blanket. There's a scorpion on it. Xena is now lying down, eating a drumstick.

XENA
Have you ever asked yourself why the denizens
of Heaven itself are denied the most heavenly pleasures?

She tosses the bone of the drumstick away.

LUCIFER
I don't ask questions, Xena. I do as I'm commanded.

XENA
Well, I don't know why you're not Seraph yet. I
bet even on your worst days you're twice the
angel those others are.

LUCIFER
If only my superiors were as perceptive as you.

XENA
I do have an eye for talent.

Xena's hand shoots out and grabs the scorpion, squishing it in her fist. She opens her palm to show the squished scorpion. She throws it away.

LUCIFER
And quick hands.

XENA
With these hands, I can attain both pleasure and
power for whomsoever I choose. Let me use them
to make you the envy of all the angels instead of
you being the one who does all the envying.

LUCIFER
You make an enticing offer.

XENA
Especially when you consider what an unappealing
quality envy is in an angel.

She has her hand on his chest. His hand shoots out and grabs hers in a tight grip.

XENA
Ah. Ah.

LUCIFER
You mean what a sinful quality, don't you?

XENA
Well, if the truth hurts, let me make it better.

LUCIFER
How?

XENA
Stay on Earth and I'll show you.

Lucifer lets her pull her hand free.

XENA
You can't imagine what it's like, Lucifer, to sample
flesh in every form.

LUCIFER
Despite what you may think, Xena, it's not the flesh
that's appealing - it's the spirit. Because that's-

LUCIFER and XENA
-where the power comes from.

Lucifer is surprised.

XENA
I know.

GABRIELLE (voice-over)
Who are these travelers?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eve, Gabrielle and Aliyah walk along.

ALIYAH
I don't know, but they've been arriving in droves
all day. The group your friend Virgil is with were
headed over to the armory.

EVE
What interest could Virgil have with weapons?

ALIYAH
You know men and their toys.

GABRIELLE
It doesn't sound like the Virgil I know.

There is the sound of a fight.

EXTRA
Get him!

EVE
Gabrielle, look.

Villagers are gathered in a circle, cheering. Two men are fighting.

EXTRA
Go, Virgil! Come on!

EXTRA
Come on! Get him!

EXTRAS
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Gabrielle pushes through the villagers and moves to the fallen man.

GABRIELLE
Virgil?

EXTRAS
Fight! Fight! Fight!

GABRIELLE
Oh, Virgil?

EXTRAS
Fight!

GABRIELLE
Hey!

EXTRAS
Fight! Fight!

Gabrielle turns the man over and sees that it is not Virgil. Virgil saunters over from the other side of the crowd.

VIRGIL
You look tastier than I remember. Mm!

GABRIELLE
Virgil...will you help me? He's hurt.

VIRGIL
Sure, anything for you, Babe.

Virgil kicks the man, who flies back into the crowd. The villagers cheer. Virgil moves to attack the man again, but Gabrielle stands in his way and holds up her hand.

GABRIELLE
What are you doing, Virgil?!

EVE
He's following his heart.

Eve sees the evil in Virgil's heart.

EXTRA
We want a fight!

EVE
Just like all these other people.

EXTRA
Kill him!

Virgil moves to touch Gabrielle's hair, but she grabs his hand, stopping him.

GABRIELLE
What are you saying?

EVE
The portal is a magnet. It's drawing people here.

Eve looks at a villager and sees the evil in his heart.

EVE
It's feeding their dark side. It's creating a Hell
on Earth, Gabrielle.

END OF ACT ONE



ACT TWO

Bedchamber. Lucifer is has taken off his armour and wears only his cloths. Xena is changing behind some hanging sheets.

XENA
You and I have much in common.

LUCIFER
Of course we do. You're a mortal female with a lying
tongue, savage tendencies and a blonde girlfriend.

He picks up a dagger.

LUCIFER
I'm a celibate archangel in the service of the Lord.

Xena looks out from behind the sheets and Lucifer holds the dagger so she can't see it.

XENA
Ah, yes, but we're both sinners at heart, you and
I, trying to walk a path that we weren't meant to.

She goes back behind the sheets.

LUCIFER
Your reputation for wit is well deserved. Me, a sinner?

He hides the dagger under his pillow and lies down. Xena enters in a stunning red, velvet dress.

XENA
You hit two of the top seven in your first hour here.
What do you call that? Beginner's luck?

Xena lies down next to him.

LUCIFER
Red is definitely your colour.

XENA
You know, I see the same spirit burning in you. If
we put 'em together we could rule both Hell and Earth.

LUCIFER
Why don't you start by taking me to Heaven?

XENA
Gladly.

Xena tosses him onto his stomach.

LUCIFER
Ugh!

Xena picks up an Egyptian tool, which she runs along his back, massaging him.

LUCIFER
Wow. What are you doing?

XENA
It's Egyptian massage. It's one of the world's
greatest and most sensual pleasures.

LUCIFER
It's not exactly what I had in mind, but it'll do for
now. Ahh.

Xena smiles. Lucifer's hand reaches slowly for the dagger.

GABRIELLE (voice-over)
Virgil, I thought you were off writing poetry.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Virgil, Gabrielle and Eve enter the tavern.

VIRGIL
You've heard the old adage: "Write what you know."
Well, it turns out that shearing sheep and shoeing
horses provide a pretty shallow well from which
to draw.

GABRIELLE
There's a difference between getting life experience
and beating an innocent man.

Virgil chuckles.

VIRGIL
No man is innocent.

He glares at Eve.

VIRGIL
Or woman.

Eve swallows.

GABRIELLE
You don't believe that.

EVE
He can't know what he believes, not when his
heart is lying to him.

VIRGIL
No! It lied to me when it urged that forgive you
for murdering my father. Now, is Xena here or not?

GABRIELLE
What do you want with her?

VIRGIL
Rumour has it that with the gods dead, she's
about to take the reigns of power. I was hoping
that when I pledged my life to her mission-

He touches Gabrielle's chin,

VIRGIL
-I'd be doing it with you at my side.

Eve watches with a worried look.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bedchamber. Xena hums as she massages Lucifer. He sighs.

XENA
Are you feeling any more relaxed?

He turns over, now lying on his back.

LUCIFER
Ready for the next phase of my earthly education.

Xena tosses the tool away.

XENA
Well-

She straddles him.

XENA
-lesson one-

Lucifer reaches for the dagger, but Xena beats him to it and holds it at his throat.

XENA
-lose the dagger, especially when I know you
don't really wanna send old Xena to Hell.

LUCIFER
Ah, you doubt my resolve.

XENA
Oh, no.

LUCIFER
Why don't you just kill me?

XENA
Because wasted potential is the greatest sin of all.

She throws the dagger away.

XENA
I wanna be your salvation, Lucifer.

He sits up.

LUCIFER
I want nothing from you.

XENA
Then how about everything?

LUCIFER
That's a big word.

XENA
Oh, it's a big world. That's what I'm offering.

He leaves.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The portal to Hell.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A temple. Eve holds a statue of the fish symbol that represents Eli. She kisses it and sighs as she places it on the stairs in a circle of candles.

EVE
This is a sign of my continued commitment to
convert this temple and these people to your ways
of love, Eli. It is a humble reminder that I cannot
do this alone.

LUCIFER
What a long-winded way to ask for help.

Eve stands and faces him.

EVE
Let's hear your version.

LUCIFER
What for? I came for some peace and quiet in
which to think, not ask for assistance.

EVE
You need Eli's assistance.

Lucifer sighs.

EVE
Although, perhaps you're too far gone, even for that.

Music starts up. Villagers, all in small, leather outfits enter the temple. They are carrying Xena on a large, pillowed litter. Xena is dressed in a small black top, black underwear and a long, black, leather coat, as well as a black, mesh mask.

EXTRAS
Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena!
Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena!
Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena!
Xena! Xena! Xena!

Eve is horrified.

VIRGIL
Let's party-y-y-y-y-y-y!

He cheers and whoops.

EXTRA
Yeah-h-h-h-h-h-h!

VIRGIL
Come on, ladies! I am a-a-a-all yours!

He bumps into Eve.

VIRGIL
Out of the way, Eve!

He laughs.

EVE
Mother, your purpose will not be served by subjecting
this temple or this town to further desecration!

XENA
It's not desecration, Eve. We're just throwing a
farewell bash for our celestial guest, assuming
that he'll give us the pleasure.

LUCIFER
The pleasure's all mine, Xena - because the
farewell I'll be celebrating is yours.

GABRIELLE
You should listen to your mother, Eve. She knows
what she's doing.

EVE
I wouldn't be so sure, Gabrielle.

Eve can see that Xena's heart as more darkness grows in it.

EVE
Not anymore.

XENA
Eve, sweetheart - if you can't stand the heat, then
maybe you should get the hell out of my kitchen!

EVE
Or stay and put out the fire.

Gabrielle hits Eve in the back of the head with the fish statue.

EVE
Uh!

GABRIELLE
No one likes a party-pooper.

XENA
Cheee-yah! Ha, ha!

Xena dances, lying down.

XENA
Whoo! Whoo!

Gabrielle looks at Eve. Eve groggily looks up at Gabrielle and sees into her heart. It's started to turn black from the evil. Eve loses consciousness.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The villagers dance and party.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The portal to Hell opens wider.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gabrielle and Virgil are lying down on a bed. Virgil moves to fill up her glass. She giggles.

GABRIELLE
I've had enough.

VIRGIL
Perhaps, but it'll help us bridge a gap more quickly
since we last so each other.

GABRIELLE
You mean it would make me drunk and loose.

VIRGIL
No one understands my words better than you, Gabrielle.

They lean in to kiss.

EXTRA
All right!

Gabrielle and Virgil start to kiss each other, and Gabrielle kisses his neck and chest as well. Lucifer is sitting on Xena's litter, watching them, once more out of his armour. Xena is sitting next to him and sips from her cup.

LUCIFER
Your friends seem to be enjoying themselves.

XENA
Almost as much as you seem to enjoy watching them.

LUCIFER
I'm an angel, Xena. That's what I do.

XENA
Well, there's nothing to keep you one forever, is
there? Down here the greatest possession is free
will. Take your destiny in your hands, Lucifer. Stay
here. Rule the world with me. Or you can go back
to Heaven, become a Seraphim, spend the rest
of eternity taking orders.

She hands him the glass.

XENA
Your choice.

Xena moves away. The villagers part for her. Gabrielle stops kissing Virgil and looks at Xena. Xena holds out her hand. Gabrielle holds out hers and then moves to Xena. They start a seductive dance. Lucifer watches and takes a drink. Virgil joins Xena and Gabrielle. Xena and Gabrielle run their hands on him. Gabrielle takes Virgil away and they dance seductively together. Xena takes off her leather coat, now only in the very small, almost lace-like under garments. She dances seductively and points at Lucifer. She holds up her hands, inviting him to join her. Lucifer drowns his drink and joins her. Everyone is now dancing seductively in the temple. Lucifer drops Xena onto the littler. Everyone is all lying down or sitting, making out.

LUCIFER
You make me feel things Xena - a hunger.

XENA
It's called lust and the best thing is, even when
you've sated it, you can never be too full.

Lucifer chuckles.

LUCIFER
Then allow me to spend eternity trying to devour you.

He runs his hand over her body.

XENA
Will I get another dagger in return?

LUCIFER
No. You get to devour me, body and soul.

They kiss. Everyone in the temple is kissing and making out. It's one big sex orgy. Michael and Raphael appear. Everyone stops.

MICHAEL
Fortunately, Lucifer, the soul of an archangel is
not his to give away. It belongs to his God.

END OF ACT TWO



ACT THREE

Lucifer looks at Michael in horror. The villagers flee. Xena stands.

XENA
Michael...since you, better than anyone, know I
have the power to kill angels, I am very impressed
you'd come to do your own dirty work.

MICHAEL
You dare talk of dirty work, when you besmirch
so many souls with your nefarious filth.

Virgil shrugs.

XENA
"Besmirch"? Is that even a real word?

RAPHAEL
What does it matter-

He draws his sword.

RAPHAEL
-when these are real swords.

Virgil gets his sword from under a pillow. Gabrielle picks up her sais and stands.

GABRIELLE
Michael, I never thought I would do this.

MICHAEL
You won't.

He hits her with a white ball of light and she falls down next to Virgil.

VIRGIL
Hey!

Virgil moves to attack, but Raphael fights him and kicks him back, landing heavily next to Gabrielle.

VIRGIL
Ugh. O-oh.

More archangels appear and attack Xena. She battles them with ease but kills none.

XENA
You know? I really hope that the main course is
more satisfying than the appetizer.

Michael draws his sword. Michael and Raphael bring down their swords at once on Xena. Xena holds up to swords and blocks their attack, but the archangels use magic to transport the three away.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena, Michael and Raphael appear at the portal to Hell. They battle. Xena knocks Raphael and then Michael back.

XENA
Your little magic tricks won't get me into that
portal, Raphael.

RAPHAEL
I know something that will.

Lucifer appears in full armour and with his wings out. Raphael attacks. Xena knocks him back again. Lucifer draws his sword.

XENA
Lucifer - come on. You're smarter than that.

Lucifer attacks, but Xena dodges.

MICHAEL
This isn't a matter of intelligence, Xena. It's
about devotion.

XENA
To whom? (to Lucifer) Your god?

LUCIFER
Yes.

As Xena speaks, she and Lucifer battle.

XENA
The same god that denies pleasures to angels?!

She captures his sword.

XENA
But grants them to the lowliest creatures on Earth?
The same pleasures that I would spend eternity
showing you.

MICHAEL
If you want redemption, Lucifer, now is the time.

Lucifer attacks Xena and tries to force her into the portal.

LUCIFER
Ugh!

XENA
I was their hero once, too. Look how they've repaid
me. Lucifer...Lucifer.

Lucifer attacks Michael. Xena stands beside him and smiles. Michael and Raphael disappear.

XENA
I told you we'd make one hell of a team!

She kisses him fully. Gabrielle enters while they are making out and throws Xena's leather jacket at Xena's head. Xena stops kissing Lucifer and slowly turns to face Gabrielle.

XENA
Yes?

Gabrielle holds up her hands. Xena leaves, putting on her coat as she walks. Gabrielle follows.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena walks along and Gabrielle follows. Xena sighs.

XENA
I was kind of in the middle of something, Gabrielle.

GABRIELLE
You were supposed to throw him in the portal.

XENA
Yeah? Well, he wasn't ready.

GABRIELLE
Xena, no one is ready to go to Hell. That's the point.

XENA
Really? Well, you and Virgil were lookin' ready
to burn not long ago.

GABRIELLE
Yeah? So?

XENA
Evil, the dark side. It's intoxicating, isn't it?

GABRIELLE
(whispering) Oh, yeah, it's intoxicating.

XENA
Lucifer and I need time to work out the terms of
our new partnership.

GABRIELLE
"Partnership"?

XENA
With no one on the throne of Hell, that portal is
gonna burst wide open and the kingdoms of Earth
and Hell are going to merge and-

Lucifer and Virgil have entered.

LUCIFER
She'll need more than a mere mortal to help her
rule it.

VIRGIL
Who are you callin' mere?

Lucifer holds up his hand as if to say, "Never mind." Eve enters.

VIRGIL
How's your head?

Xena sighs. Eve moves to her.

EVE
You need my help, Mother. I'm the only one that
sees what's happening.

XENA
You may have the gift of sight, Eve, but you should
trust I have a vision.

EVE
As I feared, it's led you astray.

Eve sees Xena's heart, completely black with evil.

XENA
So what? You gonna illuminate the way back home?

EVE
Hopefully, before the light within is extinguished.

Eve touches Xena's chest with her index finger. A burst of lightening shoots out from Xena and sends Eve flying back. Virgil holds out his arms to catch her, but then pulls them away at the last second, letting Eve crash to the floor.

EVE
Ugh.

Xena holds up her hands.

XENA
Where did I go wrong?

Gabrielle chuckles.

XENA
You've gotten in Mommy's way for the last time.

Xena leaves and Lucifer follows. Virgil whistles and then leaves the opposite way Xena and Lucifer left.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena and Lucifer enter the bedchamber. Aliyah and three other women wait with their heads bowed.

LUCIFER
I hope you don't mind. I asked them to ready the
room for us.

XENA
Hm-m. Thank you, Aliyah.

ALIYAH
It was a pleasure to serve you.

The women leave.

XENA
Hm-m.

LUCIFER
And now it'll be mine.

XENA
Not now, Lucifer.

LUCIFER
Don't tell me you've got a headache.

XENA
Yes, and her name is Eve. We won't have any
peace until we've dealt with her.

LUCIFER
Peace. Peace is overrated. It's passion that makes
one feel alive.

XENA
Passion is also unpredictable, as I learned when
you nearly joined Michael in feeding me to the flames.

LUCIFER
Old habits die hard.

Xena chuckles.

LUCIFER
Right now, I'd do anything to make it up to you.

XENA
Even tell Michael and his God that the world is
ours and they better stay the hell out of our way?

LUCIFER
What makes you think they'll listen?

XENA
Oh, they'll listen when we kill their messenger.

LUCIFER
Kill Eve?

Xena smiles.

END OF ACT THREE



ACT FOUR

Portal to Hell.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eve runs through the woods.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena walks slowly through the woods, Lucifer walking behind her. Xena is once more dressed in her leather and armour.

XENA
E-e-eve?! E-e-e-eve! E-e-e-e-eve!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eve runs. Xena's can be heard calling.

XENA
E-e-e-eve!

Eve trips, but gets back to her feet and keeps running.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena and Lucifer are still walking.

XENA
E-e-e-eve! Eve, there's nothing to be afraid of,
Honey! I just wanna talk to you!

LUCIFER
She could'a gone in any direction.

Xena picks up a piece of Eve's cloth with her sword and then tosses it aside.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eve runs. She has arrived at the temple. She looks behind her and then moves to the temple.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xena and Lucifer walk along.

XENA
Eve? The sooner you stop running, the sooner
we can clear up this little misunderstanding!

LUCIFER
I love the way you bait a trap.

Xena kisses him passionately.

XENA
You ain't seen nothin' yet.

Xena leaves. Lucifer smiles and follows.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eve enters the temple. She grabs a stone for support and pants. A pot breaks. She looks, but sees nothing. Eve is covered in scratches. She looks around to see if anyone is there, then she sees two swords leaning against a stone, candles around them. It's what she's come for. A cat meows and she turns to face the direction the sound came, startled. She looks back to the swords to find Virgil standing there.

EVE
What are you doing here?

VIRGIL
Just havin' an old chat with Eli, about why he
chose my father's murderer as his messenger.

EVE
Really? What'd he say?

VIRGIL
He said, "Prayer won't help you now."

EVE
That's why I came for those.

She moves past him. Gabrielle enters, blocking her.

GABRIELLE
I'm sorry, Eve. I can't let you do that.

EVE
Gabrielle, please.

GABRIELLE
No, listen, I can't let you discard all your beliefs
because of a crisis.

EVE
My beliefs will die with me if I do not send my
mother through that portal.

GABRIELLE
(whispering) No.

EVE
Look, the only thing left of my mother is our memory
of her. If you care anything about that, you will help
me send her through that portal.

GABRIELLE
I'll help you.

Eve sighs in relief.

GABRIELLE
I've got her-r-r-r-r-r!

Virgil and Gabrielle grab Eve. Xena and Lucifer enter.

XENA
Nice run, Eve. Made your mom proud.

VIRGIL
She came for the swords.

XENA
My little pacifist. How enterprising...and hypocritical.
Have you learned nothing from our time together?

EVE
I've learned this.

She elbows Virgil, sending him flying back.

EVE
And this.

She grabs Gabrielle and tosses her aside.

GABRIELLE
Ugh!

She sneers at Xena and flips.

EVE
Yah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!

She lands before the swords and picks them both up. She spins them in her hands and then stands, battle ready.

EVE
And most importantly, I've learned that the heart
can betray, but the sword never lies.

LUCIFER
Great farewell speech. Time to go.

EVE
Yah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!

She flips and lands before Lucifer. They battle. Eve loses one sword. The fight continues. Eve loses her other sword. Lucifer kicks her back against the stairs. He holds his sword and gets ready to kill her. Xena grabs his hand.

XENA
Wait. If anyone deserves this historic opportunity
it's Gabrielle.

LUCIFER
Wh-Gab-Gabrielle?

XENA
She's been my partner for years. She's shared
things with me you can never understand.

He turns and holds his sword on her.

LUCIFER
What about our partnership?!

XENA
You can't expect me to trust someone so ripe for
corruption? Someone so quick to switch sides
and someone, who without even realizing it, has
committed every deadly sin but one.

LUCIFER
You tricked me!

XENA
You tried to kill me. What did you expect?

LUCIFER
I swear to you, Xena, I will spend eternity making
sure you feel my wrath!

XENA
Wrath? Congratulations, Lucifer, you just won the
deadly sin lottery with a perfect score of seven out
of seven. First prize is a one-way ticket to Hell.

LUCIFER
How dare you be so smug, when men sin every day?!

XENA
That's what makes us human, Lucifer, but in you,
an archangel - to succumb to such temptation,
that's what makes you a monster.

Lucifer morphs into the Devil. Eve is horrified. Lucifer yells.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The portal to Hell opens wider.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The portal to Hell opens in the temple.

LUCIFER
Rra-a-a-a-a-a-g-g-g-h-h!

Xena is horrified.

LUCIFER
Rraagh!

Lucifer and Xena fight. Xena kicks him, but he grabs her leg and flips her.

XENA
H-y-y-y-y-y-y-yah!

Lucifer flies, following her.

LUCIFER
Rraggh!

He flies at her to attack again. He grabs Xena by her throat and flies with her. He drops down with her on the pillow covered litter from the party, then raises her by her neck to his face.

LUCIFER
I'm still hot for you, Xena. Only now I'm bigger, stronger,
and more powerful than ever!

XENA
That doesn't begin to make up for the attributes
you lost.

She holds up a shield and he sees his reflection.

LUCIFER
Wha...what have you done to me?!

XENA
Only what I suspect Michael wanted all along - to
put you in touch with your inner demon.

Wails come from the portal to Hell.

XENA
Your kingdom awaits! Yah!

Xena uppercuts him and sends him flying back. He lands on the floor near the portal, on his knees. He looks at her.

LUCIFER
Come, Xena. You belong to me.

XENA
The hell I do. A-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Hyah!

She flips and kicks him into the portal.

LUCIFER
Rraaaaghh!

Lucifer yells as he falls. Gabrielle helps Virgil up. The portal to Hell closes. Eve sees Xena's heard, the blackness fades. Everyone is normal. Eve smiles.

EVE
Mother!

Eve runs to Xena and they hug.

XENA
Eve.

EVE
You're back!

XENA
Part of me never left.

EVE
I never should have doubted you.

XENA
After all you've seen and been through, I can't
blame you for thinking the dark side had won. I
just hope that one you'll believe as strongly as
I do in the power of love to save lives.

Gabrielle and Virgil move over to them.

GABRIELLE
Xena, you did more than save lives. You, um-

VIRGIL
Saved me from makin' the mistake of a lifetime.

Gabrielle and Virgil look at each other.

XENA
Right.

VIRGIL
Well, I guess I better go clean this mess up.

Virgil leaves.

EVE
I'll help.

Eve follows.

GABRIELLE
Thought I'd lost you for a minute, there.

XENA
Yeah, which minute was that?

GABRIELLE
You and Lucifer were looking, um...a little, uh...

XENA
Gabrielle, every time I felt myself start to lose
control, um, just thought of you - led me back home.

Xena moves off. Gabrielle follows.

GABRIELLE
Really?

XENA
Sure.

GABRIELLE
Don't go getting all emotional on me, Xena.

They leave.

END OF ACT FOUR

STARRING
Lucy Lawless as Xena
Renee O'Connor as Gabrielle

GUEST CAST
Adrienne Wilkinson as Eve
William Gregory Lee as Virgil
Alex Mendoza as Lucifer
Charles Mesure as Michael
Tamati Rice as Raphael
Kara Douglas as Aliyah
Michael Downey as Young Guy Villager
Sacha Handsaker-Cates as Housewife Villager

Written by: Emily Skopov
Directed by: Mark Beesley

Disclaimer: All Hell broke loose during the filming of this motion picture.